Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.
Remember when US President George W. Bush allegedly said, “The problem with the French is that they don’t have a word for entrepreneur”? Also remember when we all thought nobody was dumber than George W. Bush would ever become American President?
Anyway, it’s been a great month for Europeans entrepreneur. Take Austrian Chancellor (checks notes) Karl Nehammer, who traveled to Moscow to speak face to face with Vladimir Putin.
Unfortunately, despite MC Nehammer’s best efforts and spirit of optimism, the war in Ukraine is not over yet. Nevertheless, we got an update on Putins ridiculously oversized furniture. When asked about the size of the table he sat at in Novo-Ogaryovo, the Russian president’s residence, Nehammer said it was definitely “long” but maybe “not as long as the one in the Kremlin.”
When I think about it, why weren’t massive tables part of the EU sanctions packages?
You know what’s not over yet? COVID-19. Ah, remember when our biggest problem was a mere global pandemic! simpler times.
However, the pandemic has allowed entrepreneurship to thrive. In Germany, a 60-year-old man should be vaccinated almost 90 times against the virus to sell fake vaccination cards with real information to people who don’t want to get the vaccine. If found guilty, the man could be jailed, fined, or worse, sentenced to being slapped on the arm once an hour for a week.
Of course, if the far-right, tinfoil-hat-wearing conspiracy theory guys are right and the coronavirus vaccine is just a giant ploy to allow authorities and/or Bill Gates to inject us with microchips for tracking purposes, then German Der Human must now be the largest supercomputer in the world.
Unfortunately, not everyone in Germany has something like this a keen interest in helping others other than Mr Pincushion.
German Family Minister Anne Spiegel resigned this week after weeks of pressure to do so. Spiegel was environment minister for the state of Rhineland-Palatinate when much of the country was devastated by last summer’s floods that killed nearly 200 people, but instead of doing her best to help, she embarked on a four-week trip to France with her family right after the disaster. She was also found to have lied about attending cabinet meetings online remotely.
When asked if she regrets her actions, Spiegel said she plans to take a long, hard look in the mirror!
“The British competitor in the World Staring Championships suddenly realized he had found his master.”
Last week we gave you this photo:
Thanks for all entries. Here’s the best of our mailbag – there’s no prize but the gift of laughter, which I think is far more valuable than cash or alcohol.
“The Worst French Submarine Since The Australians Didn’t Buy It”, by Tom Morgan
Paul Dalison is POLITICS‘s slot news editor.
https://www.politico.eu/article/get-vaccinated-90-times-and-go-see-putin-a-beginners-guide-to-being-an-entrepreneur/?utm_source=RSS_Feed&utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=RSS_Syndication A Beginner's Guide to Entrepreneurship – POLITICO