Daily Mirror agony aunt Coleen Nolan counsels a husband who feels insecure about his wife’s new friendship and wonders if there’s anything else going on between them
Image: Getty Images)
I have been married to my wife for 11 years and like most couples we have had our ups and downs but have been happy for the most part.
We have many common interests and have always had a special passion for ornithology – we are loyal members of our community watching birds community for a long time.
The thing is that a few weeks ago a new member joined our group and both myself and my wife did our best to make him feel welcome.
He seems like a nice man – friendly, easygoing and really knowledgeable about our feathered friends.
My wife in particular seems to have clicked with him, so I’m now wondering if there’s anything going on between them.
She spends more time in his company than mine when we’re all together during meetings, and I’ve also noticed that he would call her his “little sparrow” when he overheard their conversations.
Do you think I should talk to my wife about my concerns, or am I just being paranoid? I would like to have your opinion on this.
What advice would you give this reader? Share your opinion in the comment section
Well, the term “little sparrow” seems a little too familiar for a guy she just met.
You obviously feel insecure and concerned that your relationship is being threatened, so of course you should discuss it with your wife.
Trouble is, now that you have that idea in your head that something might be happening, you’ll be constantly looking for other signs and your insecurity (or paranoia) will grow.
They might have clicked, but there might be nothing else to it. He obviously knows it’s her married and you are at these gatherings with her.
You don’t have to confront your wife or accuse her of anything. Just point out that she spends more time with him than you, which you don’t like and makes you a little insecure.
She may not even realize she’s doing it, or she needs to be honest with herself and admit she’s getting too close to him.
It’s always better to deal with these things right away than to get distrust in your head, because that in itself is very damaging to a relationship.
Trust is fundamental and it sounds like you need some validation.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/relationships/a-new-man-who-just-26593605 "A new man who just joined our birding group is watching my wife" - Coleen Nolan