Ask a Friend: My husband has erectile dysfunction but he doesn’t talk about it and avoids any form of intimacy. What now?

Q: My husband has started having problems with our sexual activity. He was struggling to maintain his erection, and it prevented us from having sex – of any kind. He wouldn’t talk about it and we hadn’t even tried to have sex in a while. I know he’s embarrassed, but I don’t know what to do. I feel rejected and frustrated. He won’t even hug me now and change the subject when I try to speak up. I tried to be gentle and although I regretted it, I lost my temper before him and probably said things I shouldn’t have. I want to be able to enjoy the intimacy and I can’t see why he won’t even talk about it. I tried to talk to my doctor but he wouldn’t say much to me, it’s just that my husband had to come in on his own – but that’s not happening right now. I tried suggesting date nights, but he said he was either busy or too tired. I don’t want to be in a sexless marriage for the rest of my life. I don’t dream of having an affair or anything, but I don’t know what to do, and I feel unwanted and unloved. I know it’s not true but sometimes I can’t help but think about it. Where do we go from here?

Dr. West replied: No pun intended, but penis-related problems are difficult to deal with for many men. All we see in porn are huge erect penises that stay like that for hours. Society and culture also expect men to be sexual initiators and just know what to do as if they’ve magically reached the age of consent and automatically assume the role of experts when it comes to orgasm. sex. Talk about a ton of pressure! So when their body isn’t quite working the way their mind wants it to, it can be devastating. They may not feel like a ‘real’ man: someone who lives up to these gender and social norms. These stereotypes are very harmful, and often lead to men being restrained when it comes to expressing their feelings and being vulnerable. Ask a Friend: My husband has erectile dysfunction but he doesn’t talk about it and avoids any form of intimacy. What now?

Fry Electronics Team

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