Attacking Putin and the cage war to solve the world’s problems – POLITICO

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.

Faced with a bloody war with no end in sight, maybe – just maybe – Vladimir Putin will accept Elon Musk’s invitation to fight.

Is it a sign of the world in which we live that the world’s richest man’s proposal to cut the light of the Russian president was met with a collective shrug rather than a WTF?

“I challenge Vladimir Putin to a single battle,” Musk tweeted. “Stock is Ukraine.” In another tweet, he tagged Putin’s official Twitter account and wrote: “Do you agree with this fight?”

So far, there has been no response from the Kremlin but I believe I can speak for all of us when I say that I would like to see that match broadcast on live TV (although of course RT) will announce Putin as the winner regardless of the outcome).

Of course, cases of politicians and celebrities actually fighting are rare. Actor Matthew Perry famous in “Friends” used to admitted on a TV talk show that he had defeated Justin Trudeau, who would become prime minister of Canada, while they were at the same school. After the show, Trudeau challenges Perry to a rematch, which sadly hasn’t happened yet. Perhaps that could be the warm-up for the Musk-Putin showdown.

Of course, it’s much more common for politicians to fight each other.

Readers of our new French election playbook (SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT!) will know that there is a really duel in France between Gaullist MP René Ribière and mayor of Marseille, Socialist MP Gaston Defferre, at 1967. Yes, you read that exact date – the same year that the portable computer was invented and The Beatles released “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, ‘the French still fencing!

Thank goodness that doesn’t happen anymore. No, wait, it does! In December last year, two Brazilian politicians had a UFCfighting cage style to settle their differences after a fight on a water park. The fight is even live streaming!

“The mayor of Borba can barely walk because of the low number of kicks he receives from his opponent,” local media reported. BNC Amazonas.

While there is no way to promote the use of violence, surely the European Parliament should at least consider holding squabbles to resolve the dispute after the publication of its own initiative reports. me. They can be shown live on EBS. Imagine publicity!

COMPETITIVE CAPTION

“It’s disconcerting that Vladimir Putin makes a surprise appearance at an American rally.”

Can you do better? Email [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque

Last week we gave you this photo:

Thanks for all the items. Here’s the best from our post office bags – no prizes except the gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is far more valuable than cash or alcohol.

Albrecht Rothacher writes: “You did badly in Ukraine in 2008. But don’t worry, you’ll make time for something else.

Paul Dallison is POLITICOSlot News Editor.