EVERYONE knows babies ruin your life. They ruin your sleep, they mess up your sex life, they stink your house with their dirty diapers.
hey pee on your lap and drool on your shoulders and gurgle into your last clean clothes. They destroy your social life.
You hardly hang out with your childless friends anymore. And the weird times when you go out with them, you make them stiff by attacking your bloody BUCK!
Either way, these are clichés. The reality for most people is probably a lot less frustrating and possibly even more fun. I know it’s for my wife and I; we had a good time with the kids from day one.
As far as I know, none of our friends were hiding behind the nearest car when they spotted one or both of us pushing a buggy in their direction.
Then again, we got lucky. We don’t have devil children like the kids in It’s Alive, Rosemary’s Baby, Eraserhead, The Brood or the famous short story of Ray Bradbury The Small Assassin.
To this gallery of squealing evil children, we can now add the pliers to the Sky/HBO mini series. Baby (Sky Atlantic, Wednesday; all episodes on demand).Baby, created by Lucy Gaymer and Sian Robins-Grace, may be a metaphor for how women who are not the worst mothers and do not want to have children are often stigmatized by those who do and do.
Or it could simply be what it’s advertised as: a comedy-horror. If the latter is the case then it is unfortunate. Based on the two episodes I watched, Baby Not many cops are horror or comedy.
There was an early scare scene, but this turned out to be just a nightmare – and scary dream scenes in horror movies (A Nightmare on Elm Street is the obvious exception) is always a cop. Laughter is even harder to come by than screams.
Natasha (Michelle de Swarte) is a London chef, single, never in love, almost 40 years old and perhaps the least motherly woman in the world. She feels alienated from her friends, who are all new mothers or happily pregnant. This takes away all the fun – not to mention the cigarette smoke – from their girls’ weekly poker night.
After Natasha gets into a serious relationship with her two best friends Mags and Rita (Shvorne Marks and Isy Suttie), she decides to take a few days off to get back together.
She goes to a secluded, dingy beach house (actually a wooden shack) that she rents from a strange old woman (Amira Ghazalla). This is where a young boy, played by twins Abie and Arthur Hills, actually falls into her arms, having fallen from the edge of the towering cliffs on the beach.
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The child’s arrival was preceded by seconds of a young woman, who hit the ground with a painful slap, blood and intestines spewing everywhere. Natasha’s strangely silent reaction to this horrifying moment, I think, was the writers’ idea of what was to come for the deadly black comedy.
At least they got the “dead” part right. Attempts to create humor, whether black or lighter, flat lines.
Natasha handed the baby over to two mean-spirited uniformed men who were at the scene when the woman and child crossed the curb.
But as they were driving away, a large rock fell on their car, killing both of them, but miraculously, or perhaps monstrously, unharmed.
Deciding to go back to London, Natasha managed to throw the baby on top of a nice old man who ran a service station and got out through the bathroom window.
Also when she was trying to start her car, he was killed when a shelf fell on him. Can we sense a pattern forming here? Yes, we do, one that repeats itself like the pattern on the wallpaper and is just a little more interesting to look at.
Whenever Natasha tries to lose the baby, he comes back, leaving corpses all around the place.
Allowed to see a computer file containing pictures of the baby with different women that someone had left on her doorstep, Natasha slowly began to realize she was not the only “mother” the attacker had. This malignant fisheye has been adopted for many years.
Baby maybe it would have been more agreeable if Natasha hadn’t been so domineering. She is a real pain.
The good news is that the episodes are only 35 minutes long. The bad news is that there are eight of them.
https://www.independent.ie/entertainment/television/tv-reviews/the-baby-review-natal-nightmare-skimps-on-the-scares-and-laughs-41823949.html Baby review: Natal’s nightmare ignores fear and laughs