Gender reveal videos are a dime a dozen on the internet. You know that: expectant parents throw a party where they find out the gender of their new child among family and friends.
The reveal, often performed with colored confetti, smoke cannons, cake or balloons, surprises them as much as everyone else. Call it an excuse to a party or another annoying American import. In any case, they are quickly gaining popularity. And there’s one gender reveal video in particular that you may have missed.
In it, a US-based mother, her partner, and two daughters (ages 3 and 1) find out the gender of their third child. When they found out they were expecting another daughter, mom and her little daughters were visibly overjoyed.
The same wasn’t true for Dad, who not only looked a little disappointed, but looked genuinely choppy. He then started cursing and stormed off in anger, leaving his family a bit confused.
As is usual on the Internet, the backlash was not long in coming. After 45 million views on TikTok, the unnamed father was branded “ugly” and “asshole” for revealing his gender tantrum. And true, there is something uncomfortable and ugly in his reaction. People can’t stop thinking about what his reaction says to his little girls: about them, about their gender, and about the innate attraction to boys.
“I can’t imagine having a father who was disappointed in me before I was born,” said one poster.
The less talk about the ridiculousness of gender reveal parties, the better. Even the woman who threw the first in 2008 – Jenna Myers Karvunidis – regrets starting it, noting the “aggressive energy” that comes with being so absorbed by a fetus’ sex.
Not only are gender reveals narcissistic and flashy (and another excuse to flush your loved one out of gifts), they reinforce several notions about babies and gender that we should try to dismantle, not reinforce.
But here’s the thing. “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” is often the most important piece of information about a newcomer, not whether they have hair or are healthy or a good bat. A baby’s gender, with its pink balloons or blue blankets, is still the biggest part of a new arrival.
Whether it’s politically incorrect to admit it, gender disappointment is a real and legitimate sentiment. It may not feel right or appropriate to admit a preference, but the reality is that many parents do, especially if they have already raised one or more children of a certain gender.
For a while, I became obsessed with watching those gender reveal videos on Instagram and TikTok, especially when there were already other kids in the family. Mostly there was a mother trying to put on a good face but obviously shrinking at the news of another boy, or a father jumping in high spirits at the prospect of a first son.
I’ve never felt gender disappointment, but I remember the moment a doctor told me I was going to have a daughter. The baby was active in the womb to the point of mania.
Somehow, for some weird reason, I convinced myself I was having a boy. The news that I’m having a girl was a happy surprise.
Since my own mother was eight at the time, I had missed the closeness of a mother-daughter relationship, and here I was about to relive it.
Gender disappointment rarely boils down to “boys are better” or “girls are worse.” Humans can hope for any kind of family, but as we now know, nature doesn’t always let mortals have its way.
Spend 45 billion euros on inequality, Elon
People seem annoyed by the fact that Elon Musk has committed $45 billion in funding to buy Twitter.
The buyout means founder Jack Dorsey will leave the social media platform with $978 million, while CEO Parag Agrawal expects a relatively “modest” payday of $38.7 million.
Musk has called Twitter the ultimate “digital town square,” which arguably makes him one of the world’s leading city criers.
Power, especially when circumcised with male ego, sure is a damn good drug. And as people like to point out, $45 billion is a pretty steep price tag for a glorified ego boost.
There’s been a lot of talk about the future of free speech now that the platform will be under Musk’s leadership, but let’s step back for a moment and look at these stunning numbers.
Think of the amount of good in the world that $45 billion could do.
The tragedy, the hardship, the inequality, the social ills that could be addressed with that kind of money.
As highlighted this week, Musk once said he would offer $6 billion to end world hunger and help 42 million people survive in 2022 if the UN could explain how they would spend his money that accounts for only two percent of his wealth.
Unfortunately, the UN is still waiting. It never ceases to amaze me how the two will never meet when it comes to multi-billionaires and common decency.
The price is wrong for penneys
Penneys is about to get fancy…or at least their prices.
The retail giant said inflation is forcing it to raise prices as early as this fall.
Without an online outlet, Penneys has definitely suffered financially in two years of a pandemic, but surely playing around with their unique selling proposition – as being the only place anyone can afford decent swag – is dancing with a disaster?
And with competitors ramping up faster than you can say, “I got a whole bunch of things for Christmas,” is now the right time to mess around with a good thing?
https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/baby-gender-reveal-its-ok-to-be-disappointed-41594591.html Baby’s gender reveal: It’s okay to be disappointed