Cruel toast to gender reveal lets mom-to-be ‘deal with low self-esteem and anxiety’

Jokes are all well and good, but how funny are they actually when you find the butt? Especially if the joke is about your physical appearance

The mother-to-be had low self-esteem as a result of the joke
The mother-to-be had low self-esteem as a result of the joke

When you’re pregnant, the last thing you want is to become someone else’s joke butt — especially when it’s your husband making the joke at your expense.

This is what happened to a poor mother-to-be when she revealed her child’s gender.

First of all, the event was bigger than she expected, making her “nervous” and “fearful” that she hadn’t been forewarned.

But nothing could have warned her of her husband’s odious remark.

She wrote: “I married my husband 3 years ago. I am currently pregnant with our first baby together. We found out it’s a girl and my in-laws wanted to take us out to dinner to “announce the gender and celebrate”.

“We got there and saw many relatives come to congratulate us and celebrate. It was bigger than expected which made me nervous as I’m not a fan of many people.

“We sat at the dining table and I hardly ate anything, I was so scared and kind of upset that my husband didn’t warn me how many people were coming, but I tried to stay calm and collected.

The mom-to-be tried to stay calm and collected


(Getty Images/iStockphoto)

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“Anyway, after the announcement, my husband wanted to toast in the middle of the celebration. He opened a bottle and poured a drink, wishing our daughter was “healthy, happy, but didn’t look like me.”

“Everyone at the table laughed. I sat and stared in shock as he continued to laugh with them. I felt so much anger and my fear was out of control.

“I got up, grabbed my purse and started walking. His mother followed me and asked if I was okay, I told her I just wanted to go home. He came to the door and asked what was going on. Then we started arguing.

“He said it was a ‘joke toast’ and that my reaction was overblown, but since I’ve been pregnant he’s repeatedly implied that he doesn’t want our daughter to look like me. He even got up one morning and the first thing he told me was how much he wished our daughter didn’t look like me.

“I went home and he called me many times and told me to get my ‘insecurities’ under control before I passed them on to our daughter. He urged me to get therapy and stop being dramatic like I was doing in front of his family.

“I don’t think skipping dinner was the best solution, but I was just blown away.”

Her husband told her to take jokes – but we’re not sure if it’s funny


(Getty Images)

Redditors jumped to the mother-to-be’s defense, equally horrified as to why he would have chosen to even pull that joke, let alone in public.

One wrote: “First; Congratulations on your pregnancy, take care of yourself and your little girl. He’s the one who needs therapy, his behavior is not okay.”

Someone else decided to set the law for the expectant mother. The kind and concerned poster wrote: “Your husband is emotionally and psychologically abusive. He tells you he hopes your daughter doesn’t look like you.

“If he makes a public joke that makes you react perfectly appropriately, by the way, he’s telling you that you need counseling before your insecurities affect your daughter. Insecurities he has exacerbated and inflamed, if not outright planted. That’s gas lighting.

“Think about counseling beyond that, but not for yourself because your husband told you to get it. Take care!”

Another confirmed what everyone else was thinking: “Leaving dinner isn’t the only thing you should be leaving.”

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