DEBORAH James broke down in tears as she opened up about the “tough talks” she has with her children about death.
The brave mother says she would happily die for her beloved children Hugo, 14, and Eloise, 12, at her parents’ home in Woking, Surrey.
In a moving interview with the BBC, the Sun columnist, who was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2016, said doctors could offer no further treatment.
Deborah, known to fans as BowelBabe, has been sharing every step of her journey with Sun readers and her legion of loyal Instagram followers.
She announced in an Instagram post Monday that she is now receiving hospice care and will spend her final days surrounded by her family.
Deborah fought back tears as she said: “I’ve always said I want to leave no stone unturned.
- Deborah has urged people to donate to her fundraiser – at bowelbabe.org – which has already raised more than £2million
“I don’t think there’s a rock we haven’t tried to turn over to get my liver working again, to get my body working again.
“Unfortunately, I’m exhausted – I’m absolutely exhausted. We’re at a point now where there’s really nothing more I can do.”
She then began to cry as she said, “I have a really loving family that I adore.
“Honestly they are amazing and all I wanted was to come here and be able to relax knowing everything is fine.
“I’ve had some really tough talks over the past week.
“You think, ‘Geez, how can anyone have these conversations?’ and then you find yourself right in the middle.
“And people are very nice, but you’re talking about your own death and I’ve had five years to prepare for my death.”
As she struggled to speak through tears, the interviewer said, “I know it’s not easy.”
“It’s hard. It’s really hard,” Deborah replied.
“The thing I know is because I trust my husband – he’s just the most wonderful man and so is my family and I know my children will be more than cared for and surrounded by love.
“As a mother, you always want to know if your children are doing well
“And my kids will be fine. But that doesn’t mean I won’t miss every chance I could have had with them.”
‘IT IS DIFFICULT’
The mum wrote her latest column for The Sun yesterday, in which she revealed she has been making keepsake boxes for her children.
She wrote: “I went into mental overdrive and with the help of my husband Seb we made sure the kids had keepsake boxes – we bought them gifts for certain important birthdays to come.
“I don’t want to die – I can’t face the thought that I won’t see my children’s weddings or see them grow up – that I will no longer be a part of the life I love so much.
“I’m not brave – I’m not dying gracefully – I’m just a scared girl doing something I don’t have a choice about, but I know I’m grateful for the life I’ve had.
“It’s been a crazy whirlwind, but I’ve done things I never thought I could or would do in my life.”
She also spoke about stopping active treatment in her latest episode of her BBC podcast, You, Me and the Big C: Putting the can in cancer.
Colon Cancer Symptoms to Talk to Your GP About:
The five warning signs of colon cancer are:
- Bleeding from the posterior passage or blood in your stool
- A change in your normal toilet habits – for example, walking more often
- Pain or a lump in your abdomen
- Extreme tiredness
- lose weight
Tumors in the gut typically bleed, which can lead to a shortage of red blood cells, known as anemia. It can cause fatigue and sometimes shortness of breath.
In some cases, colon cancer can block the bowel, this is called a bowel obstruction.
Other signs of colon cancer are:
- Gripping pains in abdomen
- Constipation and inability to breathe
- Be sick
- The feeling that you have to exert yourself – like number two – but after you’ve been to the toilet
In a poignant chat with podcast producer and pal Mike Holt, she said an emotional goodbye to her army of loyal listeners.
She took solace in the fact that she would be “celebrating” with her late best friend and fellow cancer sufferer Rachael Bland.
Fighting back tears, she said, “I think if she can do it, I can do it. We, on the other hand, always had a joke about grim reapers.
“I still have it as one of my gifs, so it’s ironic. Maybe she’ll meet me on the other side and say, ‘Wow, better late than never!’
Deborah said goodbye and said to a devastated Mike, “We’ll meet again somewhere, somehow dancing.
“And until then, please, please just enjoy life because it’s so precious. All I want now is more time and more life.”
She then joked, “And check your poop. I can’t say another word except “Check your poop.”
Deborah has raised more than £2million in just 48 hours after asking well-wishers to “buy her a drink” to say goodbye.
The money will be donated between Cancer Research UK, Bowel Cancer UK and the Royal Marsden.
https://www.thesun.ie/health/8777121/deborah-james-tears-bowel-cancer-kids/ Deborah James breaks down in tears over ‘hard talks’ with her kids about death