Everyone has a theory as to why the whole world became full of Vardy. And here’s mine

Or the glamor and the outfits. Or the fact that behind the glamor and outfits, these two women had the same bitchy and gossip issues that everyone has.

Or it was a slight relief compared to the Johnny Depp trial. Or the thrill of seeing other people’s texts and WhatsApp messages.

But the real reason for this fall was that Rebekah Vardy was actually the perfect metaphor for everything.

Think about it. What question was Vardy asked the most? It was…

Why did she take this case? Why did she bring all this grief upon herself? Aren’t there enough problems in life without creating more problems for yourself? Em. Do you remember anyone?

No doubt we all have enough real issues to contend with right now. The planet is inconclusively angry with us. It has enough of us and lets us know.

And if climate change and the crazy 40-degree weather in Spain in May or the global pandemic that brought the world to a halt weren’t enough clues, monkeypox should really help us get the message.

And then, of course, the peace that we in Europe had taken for granted was shaken, and everything changed again.

But we managed. Things were tough. But we succeeded.

And then, just when things were finally getting back to some sort of normalcy, when we could finally stop fighting fires and maybe focus on solving the housing crisis, what did we do? Just wage a civil war over the location of a hospital. A total Vardy.

And one of the results of that? Two government TDs decide to pirouette and wrestle with their consciences. A pair of total Vardys.

And now? There could be a snap election, except even Sinn Féin doesn’t really think the time is right. Even as a potential “winner,” Sinn Féin seems to know that a political upheaval right now would be a complete vardy.

And you’re probably aware of Vardy’s first rule: There are no winners.

Of course, none of this is helped by the fact that we’re still living with the aftermath of one of the great Vardys of our time. No one seems to know what benefit Brexit has had to anyone, what needs it has met, apart from creating many more problems.

The only winner, one could argue, was Boris Johnson.

Johnson is almost a professional Vardy – his entire career has been built on the fact that at some point there is an unnecessary self-inflicted problem. Boris Vardy then presents himself as the man who fixes it, the man who gets things done. And of course Brexit is the Vardy that passes on.

And now, like a true Vardy, instead of agreeing to sit down and settle the Northern Ireland Protocol, Boris wants to let it play out on the front pages, with as much confrontation and drama as possible.

He might consider talking to the original Vardy about how this strategy works for her.