Fit January Week 2: Let go of the comparison and use a positive attitude to achieve your goals

Unfortunately, constant comparisons can lead to negative thoughts circling around us more often. The average person can have around 6,200 thoughts in a single day. That’s according to a new study by psychologists at Queen’s University in Canada. Over 90 percent of our thoughts are repetitive. So if we constantly have negative thoughts about ourselves, compare ourselves to others, or worry about a certain situation, it can reinforce our thoughts when repeated.

But are we actively doing something to change this cycle? The good news is that we can learn to manage our thoughts. Self-knowledge is one of the best coping techniques for challenging a negative thought process. It can be helpful to examine the evidence that either supports or contradicts the thoughts brewing in our minds.

Our thoughts can relate to ideas, opinions, and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. But thoughts are not necessarily based on facts. Our beliefs and past experiences can affect the types of thoughts we have on a daily basis. And because our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are inextricably linked, our thoughts can affect how we feel and then act.

Exercise: write it down

Take a moment to reflect on the dominant thoughts that are floating around in your head right now. Write down the five most important. They can relate to anything: health, career, self, relationship, fears, etc. Now go through each of the thoughts and ask yourself the question, “Is that a fact?” Always look for evidence. Without evidence, these thoughts can only be stories we have conjured up in our heads.

Actively question your thoughts and then look for alternative explanations to replace the existing negative thought patterns. For example: You send a message to your manager and tell him that you cannot do the training. They don’t respond, so the negative thought process kicks in and you become fixated on the thought that they are angry with you. And then you start to think you’re going to get kicked off the team.

Break the negative thought loop and question that initial thought. “Is it a fact?” You have no evidence to support that thought. How do you know they’re annoyed? After challenging the thought, look for an alternative explanation. “They didn’t answer because they were driving/working/having dinner/leaving their phone at home.” By looking for alternative explanations, it can take the power out of the negative thought. And the power we give our thoughts determines the effect they can have on us.

Strengths versus weaknesses

Here are some top tips for when you’re in “comparison mode”. When it comes to comparisons, we tend to focus on other people’s strengths, and then when we evaluate ourselves, we focus on our own flaws and weaknesses. Most of us are aware of our weaknesses, but we rarely acknowledge our individual strengths. Sometimes we’re not even sure of our strengths. If you’re having trouble identifying your strengths, talk to someone you trust (who knows you well) and ask them – you may be pleasantly surprised to hear what they have to say.

gratitude

Gratitude can be a powerful thing if you use it. Instead of focusing on the things you can’t do, focus on what you can do. Think about the advances you’ve made in different aspects of your life, no matter how small.

language

I believe that language is a powerful tool to break a negative comparison loop. The word “yet” is a brilliant word to challenge your thinking about where you are right now.

“I’m not as strong as him… yet.”

“I don’t have the career I want… yet.”

“I can’t run 5 km yet.”

We are always able to improve. The word “still” reminds us that we can strive for our goals.

Compare like with like

It’s a common pitfall to compare yourself to someone who isn’t in the same position as you. If you’re just starting to run and are striving to hit 5K, don’t compare yourself to someone who runs 10K every day.

workout of the week

Jump into a new fitness routine with five exercises that can be done in five minutes. When in doubt, keep the weight of the dumbbells light. You can also just use bodyweight for some exercises, especially if you are a beginner.

​Beginner: 30 seconds work, 30 seconds rest

intermediate: 40 seconds work, 20 seconds rest.

Progressive: 50 seconds work, 10 seconds rest per exercise.

crouch jumps

• Now, after last week’s squats, let’s add a jump to the squat movement. Do these with just bodyweight or add a light weight as you progress.
• One important thing to keep in mind is your landing – it needs to be controlled. You want to land soft and balanced. Otherwise, you run the risk of putting too much stress on your joints, which can lead to injury.
• The jump doesn’t have to be high, just focus on making sure it’s a continuous, flowing movement.
• Don’t let your knees fall inward. Crouch, ride up and jump. Begin the movement with your glutes (squeezing your butt before going up). Imagine you are a spiral spring.

Ab crunches

• Begin by lying on your back with your feet flat on the floor and your fingertips supporting your head.
• Press your lower back down into the floor and begin the exercise by squeezing your core and tucking your chin in slightly. Lift your head off the floor first, then your neck, shoulders, and upper back.
• Be sure to breathe throughout the movement. Start with small crunches.

cardio climbers

• Start from a high plank position with your hands directly under your shoulders.
• Bring one knee forward toward your chest while tightening your abs.
• Alternatively, to make it more challenging, you can bring your knee in a diagonal direction toward your opposite shoulder.
• Return to the plank position, then bring the knee of your opposite foot up (or diagonally).
• Repeat the movement, alternating legs at the same pace.

lateral raises