French fries and gravy – POLITICO

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.

The way to hit back at Vladimir Putin and his country has upset politicians and top corporate bosses since the invasion of Ukraine began.

It took a while, but now the big boys of the business world are taking action, with McDonald’s, Starbucks, PepsiCo and Coca-Cola all saying they will either stop selling their products or close their facilities in Russia. They were joined by Dutch brewing giant Heineken, whose CEO, Dolf van den Brink, dubbed the great, attacked the “gratuitous and completely illegitimate attack”. of Russia” into Ukraine.

According to state media, Putin is unlikely to be affected as he is someone who likes to eat tvorog (a cheese a bit like cottage cheese) and drink raw quail eggs (in case you rummage). that he is a monster).

Rumors that an old friend of the Russian leader Donald Trump ordered the transportation of all excess Russian burgers to Mar-a-Lago was unconfirmed at press time.

Whereas in France, the restaurant La Maison de la Poutine said they had been the subject of insults and even death threats because the food they sold had the same name as the Russian leader. That’s an easy mistake to make, of course, as the delicious combination of fries, cheese curds, and gravy bears a striking physical resemblance to the topless kettle, possessing a big table.

The Quebec eatery that claims to have invented the poutine also weighed in. Laurent Proulx, co-owner of the Le Roy Jucep eatery, said he has decided to temporarily remove the word “poutine” from its trademark and Facebook page as a stance against the aggression of “Monsieur Poutine”.

Rumors that Donald Trump has ordered a boycott of all chips, cheeses, and gravy for air shipment to Mar-a-Lago has yet to be confirmed at press time.

However, not everything in the world is bad. No, wait. In Japan, a so-called murder stone believed to have housed an evil demon for nearly 1,000 years that was broken in half. Japanese legend has it that anyone who comes into contact with the rock will die.

Rumor has it that the evil demon has seen the state of the world in 2022 and lurks in another rock, pledging not to return for another 1,000 years. still unconfirmed at the time of shooting.


“Nice to meet you, Nicolas, but you need to leave because the electronic tag on your ankle keeps beeping and it disturbs the other guests.”

Can you do better? Email [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque

Last week we gave you this photo:


Thanks for all the items. Here’s the best from our post office bags – no prizes except the gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is far more valuable than cash or alcohol.

Tom Morgan writes: “You can tell Putin that he is not the only one at the big table who adamantly refuses to give up his old empire.

Paul Dallison is POLITICOSlot News Editor. French fries and gravy - POLITICO

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