The kids are in bed, the dishwasher is on, and it’s finally time to have some comfortable time between the sheets.
But when you get undressed and things start to get serious, you can’t help but think about your never-ending to-do list.
Sex has changed for so many of us during the pandemic – blamed on homeschooling and feeling overwhelmed in general – and it’s a change that is still being felt.
Fatigue, mental health problems and negative body image is one of the main reasons why Britons say they have less sex. And when we do have sex, only 54% of us orgasm, compared with 69% when we achieve it alone, according to a recent study by sex toy brand Lelo.
However, while boosting your sex life can seem daunting, it’s easier than you think and doesn’t have to involve anything drastic, says Kate Moyle, sex and relationship expert at Lelo said.
With the rest of the year ahead, it’s time to gain confidence, fulfill your needs and get your sex life back on track…
No matter your age or life stage – whether you’re in a toddlerhood exhausting you, or you’re in a more mature stage and it’s finally time to really consider what drives you Enjoyment – sexual health really matters.
“An individual’s appearance will be based on individual circumstances, age, health, relationship status, mental health, social background and more,” says Kate.
“It is important to acknowledge that our sex lives are not fixed, but can change and adapt to us as we move through our lives,” she added.
She says that often “narratives and expectations” can limit us to “getting the sex lives we think we should, instead of the satisfying lives we have.” can enjoy”.
Having a close and strong family means that you must actively make time for intimacy. “Being intentional about when you have sex is very important,” says Kate. “Don’t wait until the end of the day. Put the kids to bed and then take a bath together, lie down in bed, or whatever works for you.
“With parenting comes a mental burden. It’s about turning it off and finding ways to keep sex from feeling like another need. And don’t be afraid to have a plan – sex doesn’t have to be spontaneous.
“There’s a lot of talk that we shouldn’t schedule sex, but the reality is, if you’re busy, this is 100% what you should do.”
It takes TWO
Sex is different for all of us and there really is no universal solution. But if you’ve been with the same person for years and you’re stuck in a relationship, there are ways to spice things up.
“Once you’ve gotten to know each other and become familiar, it’s normal to lean toward what we know works, rather than trying something different,” Kate said.
“But if you’re looking to bring something new – like a toy or role play – into the bedroom, the best way to reach your audience is to frame it positively. Don’t just go straight and say, ‘I’m bored, try something else’, as your partner may question what they’ve done wrong with what they’re doing! That’s making sure you’re on the same page. “
TURN IT ON
Kate says that making 2022 the sexiest year of your life is making small changes in the bedroom – rather than going from zero to 100 overnight.
Her top tip is to switch one thing every time you have sex. This can be anything from changing positions to introducing lubricants. “It can even be as simple as just turning the light on or off,” she says.
Sex should include everyone, so make sure you adapt what you’re doing to what’s right for your body. “If you’re pregnant, spooning can be more comfortable,” says Kate.
“Or if you have a joint condition, you may need to adjust the position – some people may need to use a pillow under their hips, for example.”
Change can be fun, but equally, you can stay in your comfort zone and still have great sex. Sometimes it’s about rearranging your expectations.
“Lust is not always the desire to have sex,” says Kate. “It could be the desire to be close to someone, to feel loved and to show love.”
Dr Laura Vowels, sex therapist for the Blueheart app, says you may need to redefine what sex really is and move away from making it a “goal-oriented experience”.
“Focus on aspects other than penetration, such as taste, touch, temperature, and what you are feeling during sex,” she says. Pay attention to what feels good, rather than focusing on when you and your partner will climax.”
Kate says: “Lube should come first when it comes to improving your sex life. It’s cheap, suitable if you’re postpartum, perimenopausal or menopausal, and great for boosting feelings and euphoria.
A big trend for 2022 is the use of teledildonics – sex toys for virtual use when people are apart. These are pandemic-friendly places and are ideal if you don’t live with your partner.
“For example, in a heterosexual couple, the man may have a masturbation sleeve, while the woman has a prosthetic penis. These can then be used simultaneously to make it feel like you’re having sex with your partner without them actually in the room,” explains Kate.
Sex toys for people with pain from conditions like endometriosis can also come before that, Kate said.
https://www.thesun.ie/fabulous/8213357/sex-toys-lube-best-sex-of-2022/ From virtual toys to lube, it’s time to have the best sex of your life in 2022