Gemma Collins breaks down when talking about having a baby with fiance Rami Hawash

Channel 4 documentary Gemma Collins: Self-Harm and Me sees the reality star talk about starting a family with her fiancé Rami Hawash in a very heartfelt conversation

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Gemma Collins discusses the fear of having a baby

Gemma Collins is seen broken in her new Channel 4 documentary as she discusses starting a family with her fiancé Rami Hawash.

The 41-year-old reality TV star showed a very different side to herself in Gemma Collins: Self-Harm and Me when she talked to a therapist about cutting herself down for 20 years.

Gemma’s close friends and family also appear in the hour-long film, including Rami, whom Gemma is planning to marry.

At the beginning of the hour-long documentary, Gemma is seen introducing Rami at a garden party at her house: “This is my fiance, we met at King Will in Chigwell. Tim. I’m pounding, I’m like ‘nobody this handsome has ever talked to me’.”

“We got engaged 10 years ago,” Gemma continued as Rami whispered, “She’s not ready!”

Gemma first started dating Rami when she started playing the lead role The only way is Essex 10 years ago. The couple broke up but finally got back together about a year ago.

In the documentary, Gemma mentioned what she wanted her future to be like with Rami in a very emotional conversation with him.

“In my mind, because obviously we want to continue having children and a lot of things and I feel so happy with you and very settled with you, and I think you’re always thinking in your head, ‘ Oh sh*t will it come back?'” Gemma said as her voice cracked.

Later speaking to her therapist, Gemma said of Rami: “He knows me very well, he knows Gemma. He’s normal.”

“He cares about you,” her therapist replied, as Gemma continued: “A lot, that’s surprising but at the same time so cool. It’s lovely. He really likes it. and love me.”

Elsewhere in the documentary, Gemma mentioned her plans for the future again and said, “Because now I want to continue to have a family and everything, I suppose that’s just be a part of me…you hear about people who have passed away. depression, I never wanted it to come back.”

The reality TV star has been very open about trying to have children in the past and in late 2020 she confirmed that she had suffered a third miscarriage during her lip-lock.

Gemma was previously in an on/off relationship with former TOWIE co-star James ‘Arg’ Argent.

For support on coping with self-harm, see mind.org.uk/selfharm or call Mind’s secret Infoline on 0300 123 3393.

For further help or advice, please visit: https://www.channel4.com/4viewers/help-support

Gemma Collins: Self-Harm and Me is available to watch on All 4.