People who struggle with impulsivity may take unnecessary risks or they may choose immediate rewards, such as the joy of playing video games, rather than focusing on mundane tasks. need to be completed. People with ADHD are also often forgetful of what they have to do and tend to have larger, more emotional reactions than a situation can warrant – which can lead to explosive conflict.
Contrary to the assumption that people with ADHD are always inattentive, many people are able to focus intently on things that interest them. But if they pay special attention to a loved one during the honeymoon phase of a relationship and that intense interest eventually fades, a pattern may emerge when a partner without ADHD feels feel unloved.
“If your partner is distracted,” says Melissa Orlov, a marriage counselor who leads seminars for couples experiencing relationship difficulties, in part due to ADHD. chronically, which means they become very confusing and then anger their partners because they feel like they’re not really being noticed. You’re like, ‘What, you don’t love me anymore? This is not the way it used to be. “
While this can be incredibly frustrating for a spouse who doesn’t have ADHD, understanding these symptoms is a step toward embracing feelings of compassion and empathy instead of constant resentment.
“Our loved ones with ADHD can’t help but behave the way they do,” says Dr. It is a biological disorder, he added, “not a lifestyle choice. It’s not simply something they can change their mind about over time if they want to. “
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Alicia Hart, 34, a primary care physician, met her husband when she was 18. They both said “I love you” within three days and “from then on have been in a seriously committed relationship,” she said. “People thought we were crazy. I mean, we met at a fraternity party. “
Couple living in Portland, Ore., with their three children, both with ADHD
Most of their conflicts revolve around scheduling mistakes, “threatening to record conversations to prove they happened, or me starting another ambitious project without thinking it through, or think about the impact on him,” Dr. Hart said in an email. “I also hate being late and have developed a million strategies to avoid this, where he really has no concept of time and can’t be on time to save his life.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/18/well/mind/adhd-dating-relationships.html How ADHD Can Affect Your Relationships