Celebrity moms seem to have more hours in their day than the rest of us. They appear to be loving parents with extremely successful careers and tidy homes. Somehow they also manage to find time for social contacts and self-care.
You’re left wondering how you’re barely holding it together while these moms do it all — and then some. There is one essential but little-discussed key to their success at home and in the workplace: good child care.
Recently, some celebrity moms have lifted the curtain to bring this conversation to light. like stars Chrissy Teigen, Busy Phillips And Kaley Cuoco thanked their nannies and other caregivers on social media for allowing them to work and be the kind of parents they want to be.
“Grateful for all the people who allow me to be the best mom I can be.” Teigen wrote on Instagram on mothers day. “I am infinitely grateful for your presence in this house and throughout our lives. We love you.”
On the same day Phillips wrote: “I wouldn’t have made it this far as a mother and as a person without the incredible women who helped me to be my best for my children.” Knowing how to go to work and travel that the two people most important to me are taken care of.”
Danielle WeissbergCo-Founder and Co-CEO of digital media company theSkimmIn a June 5 Instagram post, she shared a similar message, writing, “There’s no way I could work the way I do – the hours, travel, mental space, stress, etc – without their ‘amazing’ childcare.” and still.” Trying to be the mom I want (/trying) to be.
Her family’s support system includes a nanny who she adores, relatives who live nearby, and a part-time babysitter on weekends. In the post, Weisberg called her nursing team “the backbone of my ability to work and still feel like a human being (on a good day).”
Weisberg was inspired to talk about it after one of her followers commented: “I don’t know how you do all this,” she replied to a picture she posted of her sons watching her on the Today show.
“It struck me. I haven’t been transparent about what my day-to-day life is really like, because if I did, there’s no way they would think I’m doing all that,” Weisberg told HuffPost. “I certainly don’t feel like it the way I am. The truth is, no one can do everything. And I definitely don’t want to perpetuate the myth that you can or feel like you have to.”
Without them, a discussion about child care in the United States would not be possible I’m talking about the exorbitant cost. Childcare is a necessity for working parents, but many cannot afford it pushes people (mainly women) out of the workforce. And yet there are childcare providers “incredibly underpaid and undervalued” as Stephanie Schmit, child care expert at the Center for Law and Social Policy, told the New York Times.
Recently proposed federal legislation included funding for child care costs, paid family leave and universal pre-kindergarten. But the Provisions have been removed from the final accounts.
Although some companies offer this Substitute child care, day care on site and strong parental leave policy, These benefits are the exception, not the rule. More support for families is needed.
Why transparency is important in childcare
In commenting on the contributions by Teigen, Philipps, and Weisberg, many women wrote how grateful they are that caregivers are being recognized for the integral, but often behind-the-scenes, role they play in families.
Amber Noellea career nanny and host of the podcast “The Life of a Nanny” told HuffPost that these posts make her “incredibly proud.”
“On one hand, I’m very proud of the work we do to support and empower parents through parenting,” Noelle said. “More importantly, I’m so proud of parents who are transparent enough to acknowledge that raising little people takes a village.”
When parents are open about what it takes to keep their household running, it helps “normalize asking for help, stopping support and delegating some responsibilities,” Noelle said.
Allison S Gabriel is a professor at Purdue University’s Mitchell E. Daniels Jr. School of Business, studying women in the workplace. She said that we should be transparent about childcare arrangements.is so important to make the invisible visible.”
“Often times we look at high-level or successful people with families, and we might have a knee-jerk reaction that they’re just superhuman and capable of doing anything,” she told HuffPost. “But the reality is that it takes a lot of support to start a family and advance your career.”
But the responsibility for talking about childcare shouldn’t lie with women
In the past, mothers were entrusted with care responsibilities. And even women who now work outside the home are usually responsible for organizing childcare.
Mothers are also expected to be open about the support they receive. This is a double standard as men also benefit from childcare in their lives.
“It’s fantastic that women give credit to their care teams, but that’s often because we still have societal norms where we ask women questions like, ‘Who looks after your kids when you’re working?'” or ” How can you balance work and family?” Gabriel said.
“We don’t often ask men these questions, although they probably benefit from behind-the-scenes support as well,” she added.
Carly Zakin, Weisberg’s business partner at theSkimm, referred to an article she recently read entitled “that subordinate women hide the fact that they have help — from nannies to housekeepers to cooks,” she told HuffPost.
“And I had the reaction that that’s something you would never take men to task for. Because they have always left it to their wives to take care of all the childcare and household chores. It really made us stop and think about how women get shamed and feel guilty when they don’t balance work, family and household chores.”
It’s not that women hide their support, Zakin said, “IThat’s because nobody talks about it.”
Mothers often find themselves in this dilemma. They either try to manage work, children and housework on their own and end up being completely overwhelmed, or they get support and feel guilty because they couldn’t do it on their own.
Weisberg said she was on both sides of the equation.
“I fell into two buckets. The first is that we don’t have enough of the right support or the right resources and then we feel the overwhelming burden of responsibility and fear because of it,” she said. “The other is that I feel guilty or ashamed because I get so much support and then I feel like I’m not doing everything and I’m cheating. None of these are good. And I don’t want others to feel that.”
For change to happen, it is important that fathers are also involved in the childcare conversations.
“The more women and men talking about the complexities of childcare — and how challenging it can be — the better,” Gabriel said, in an attempt to “encourage organizations” to offer much-needed childcare support to their employees.
Weisberg and Zakin hope to start an open dialogue about childcare within their community and beyond.
“We need it as a society and it has not been made available” Said. “The more transparent we all are, the more we can stop feeling guilty about needing help and realize that if we don’t have childcare support, it’s largely unsustainable for women to stay in the workplace.”