After the unseemly “don’t be mad, get it all” era, the rich and famous chose a different route to divorce: conscious decoupling.
Ruce Willis and Demi Moore, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, Courteney Cox and David Arquette — they’ve all decided to keep their marriage breakups clean and simple, at least publicly.
In joint statements and Instagram Stories, they rode phrases like “happily sharing parenting,” “nothing but love and respect for one another,” and “we have decided to go our separate ways with hearts filled with sadness.”
We laughed up our sleeves a bit at the sheer woo-woo quotient, but we’re not laughing now. Most of them seem content to have settled down with other partners and, in the memorable case of Bruce and Demi, be able to spend a merry Christmas together in matching pyjamas.
But because life is cyclical, nowhere more so than in Hollywood, the “happy ending apart” seems to be going a bit out of style. Instead, we seem to have returned to the Hollywood marriage breakup where everyone goes down swinging.
Nearly six years after Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie filed for divorce, it’s on track to become the most expensive and messy Hollywood divorce ever.
The less talked about the ongoing storm between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp the better. And now actors Alice Evans and Ioan Gruffudd are in the middle of their worst breakup yet.
Last week, Gruffudd filed a motion for joint custody of the couple’s two daughters in an LA court, and it made for some quite head-turning reading. In it, Gruffudd repeated allegations that Evans had verbally abused him throughout their 14-year marriage.
“Alice often poked fun at my looks, made comments about hair loss, and told me I had ‘saggy eyes,'” the court filings read.
How did we go from ‘conscious decoupling’ to ‘saggy vagina eyes’? Gruffudd’s paperwork is pretty small compared to Evans’ ongoing social media output, in which she reveals her feelings towards her ex and his new girlfriend, Bianca Wallace.
In a post, Evans claimed that she would not receive any financial support from Gruffudd, was struggling to pay her legal fees and was unable to “feed or clothe” her daughters.
On another occasion, Evans wrote online: “I face a future of homeless, unassisted, in chronic pain, with two beautiful girls that I have 100 percent custody of because he decided family was not for him is… I WON’T LOSE TO THIS LOSER.”
If raunchy and high-octane Hollywood gossip is swimming your boat, surely this ongoing battle is ambrosia of the gods.
We’re so used to the shows of glittering solidarity among Hollywood couples that we seem to find it terribly entertaining when the curtain is drawn.
It’s also a stark reminder that money, fame, public adoration, and success won’t protect you from heartbreak.
I miss the breakups of marriages, where we barely see a bit of legal paperwork and lots of paps of ex-boyfriends cheering together in little league. Where there are no ‘sides’, no public statements from ‘Team Amber/Johnny’.
It might not scratch showbiz gossip like Ioan Gruffudd’s “saggy vagina eyes” might, but everyone around her is undoubtedly a lot happier, more balanced, and calmer.
I know which outcome I would prefer.
Armie, who’s come under fire for being a lynchpin career, is a job-shamer
After actor Armie Hammer’s Hollywood career imploded after a very public sex scandal (with allegations of cannibalism, which he denies), he appears to have moved on professionally.
According to a TMZ report, Hammer works as a timeshare salesman in the Cayman Islands. At the moment it’s unclear if Hammer will embark on a whole new career and leave acting behind, or if acting is leaving him behind, but there was undeniably happy reaction to this latest report.
Many people seem to have missed the fact that he tries to earn his living honestly under all circumstances. So does the idea that Hammer, who comes from a multi-millionaire family, probably doesn’t have to work at all.
Though there are undeniable top marks of “cancellation” to Hammer’s new career move, it reeks of the broader phenomenon of job-shaming actors.
EastEnders It has been revealed that star Katie Jarvis works at the B&M Home Store The Cosby Show Star Geoffrey Owens was found in 2018 as an employee of US supermarket chain Trader Joe’s.
It’s a horrifying turn of events where we now shame people for the apparent “failure” to stay in the acting game – one that has been almost unbearably precarious and cutthroat from the start.
It also says a lot about how we value fame and fame over honest day’s work and purpose.
“Work shy” Gen Z just like any other teenager
A recent report portrayed Gen Z as work-shy, demanding, and needing Mom and Dad to call the boss when they’re being criticized at work.
A leading recruitment consultant told that Sunday independent that young workers also expect their roster to fit their social life and wear their iPhone “like an extra part of their body”.
Save the iPhone bit, sounds pretty much like any teenager right? As a 15-year-old Gen-Xer, I was certainly a lout, trying the path of least resistance as often as possible at every summer job. And that was years ago.
https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/how-did-we-get-from-conscious-uncoupling-to-brutal-hair-loss-jibes-41838117.html How did we go from consciously uncoupling to brutal hair loss necks?