I am afraid that my wife will run away with the local pastor

DEAR DEIDRE: I THINK my wife has a crush on our local pastor and I’m afraid she’ll leave me for him.

Since he moved to our parish, she became interested in going to church.

She seems to have had an unhealthy love affair with the pastor


She seems to have had an unhealthy love affair with the pastor

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We have been married for ten years. I am 42 years old and she is 44 years old.

She talks about him non-stop and takes every opportunity to spend time with him – organizes parish events, helps with fundraising activities, offers to make posters.

He is also over 30 years old and also married, but he hasn’t done anything to discourage my wife.

They talk on the phone and text each other often. I tried to read the messages, but my wife deleted them immediately.

But he’s a man of God – did he really break up his marriage and swear an extramarital affair with my wife?

I can’t talk to anyone about this but my jealous thoughts are driving me crazy.

I believe my husband and I are happy but ever since she met him our sex life is dead and we hardly spend time together.

DEIDRE SAYS: Try not to jump to conclusions and assume the worst, even if this seems suspicious.

Instead of confronting her, it’s better to take a moment and ask her in general if she’s happy or if something is worrying her.

Tell her you love her but you feel as if something is wrong in your marriage.

It is possible that her friendship with the vicar, and her participation in the church, are filling an unmet need in her.

Let’s work together towards our marriage. If she agrees, some advice might help.

Contact Tavistock Relationship (tavistockrelationships.org.uk).

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