I am happily married but already in love with my colleague

DEAR DEIDRE: I was married to the most perfect wife but hopelessly in love with a woman at work. She is not a patch of my wife.

I haven’t told this woman how I feel and think I hid it well but I’ve been feeling like this for two years and it’s horrible.

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My wife is stunningly beautiful, intelligent and kind.

We have two grown girls and both are very successful.

Our married life is still great, with great sex. I still love my wife.

We are both in our fifties and have been married for 30 years.

My co-workers aren’t particularly good-looking and don’t put much effort into their looks.

But I was stunned by her personality, her humour, her voice, and her confidence.

Every time I’m near her, my heart stops beating and I want to jump. She is 41 years old.

I made the mistake of thinking about her at work.

I just want it to stop. How do I make these feelings go away? I am broken.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry you’re suffering.

This is not simply your heartbreak, but also an out-of-control obsession that is affecting your life and needs to be addressed.

You know you can’t have it all but you need to see what it is.

Even when we are in a great relationship, sometimes we feel attracted to other people.

But we don’t have to act on those feelings.

My Support Package Torn between two women? will help you think through this.

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