“I can’t stop crying after he called off our engagement – I’m heartbroken” – Coleen Nolan

Daily Mirror agony aunt Coleen Nolan is advising a woman who packed his bags and left out of the blue – she can’t stop crying since he said he wasn’t in love with her anymore

He said he wasn't in love with me anymore (file image)
He said he wasn’t in love with me anymore (file image)

Dear Coleen

A few weeks ago my fiancé broke off our engagement and I’ve been in a state of horrible despair ever since – oscillating between crying uncontrollably and hours in bed with the curtains drawn.

I know things haven’t been going too well for us over the last few months – lots of arguments about big issues as well as trivial things and we didn’t seem to be able to agree on a lot.

Then one weekend he just told me he wanted out and figured it was better to admit how he felt now than to move on with wedding plans.

He said he wasn’t in love with me anymore, which was the hardest thing to hear.

He literally packed up and moved out this weekend and we just exchanged emails about practical things like arranging the rest of his stuff.

I feel humiliated and stupid, but most of all I’m just heartbroken and still can’t believe it’s all over and I’m sitting in our half-empty apartment.

We were together for eight years and got engaged five years ago. How long will I feel like this?

Everyone feels sorry for me, which is also terrible. I want to continue but don’t know how.

What advice would you give this reader? Share your opinion in the comment section

Coleen Nolan is the mirror’s aunt of death

Coleen says

It helps to take it day by day instead of thinking too far ahead.

Think of the positives too — he could have walked you through to the wedding or, worse, admitted how he felt a few days afterward.

You probably can’t tell at the moment, but it won’t have been easy for him. He will have been very aware that he hurt you and that everyone else hates him, so I respect him for admitting that sooner rather than later.

It’s interesting that you were engaged for five years, so the fact that you didn’t marry earlier is perhaps an indication that he (or maybe both of you) had some doubts.

Nothing people say now, including me, will help with the heartbreak because you’re grieving someone and it takes time to get over it.

I understand people feeling sorry for you, but it would be worse if they didn’t express how sorry they are. Why not tell them how you would like to be supported?

All I can say from personal experience is you will go ahead and someday appreciate the good times over those eight years and be glad he broke up and not the night before the wedding.

And you will be able to see that you deserve to meet someone who will love you the way you want to be loved.

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