“I don’t want to have sex with a vape addicted woman who has gained weight and isn’t trying” – Coleen Nolan

Agony aunt Coleen Nolan counsels a reader who fears for his marriage after his wife stopped caring about her looks

Reader says his wife doesn’t know why he keeps refusing sex

Dear Coleen

I’m a man in his 40’s and my wife keeps asking me why I never want to have sex again.

The truth is I don’t like her, but how can I tell her that? I love her and I think we can get back to who we were, but in the last few years she has stopped caring about herself and her looks.

I know this is going to sound bad, but she put on a lot Load, She is in bed by 10am most days, she is addicted to vaping and she makes no effort for herself or me.

How can I address this sensitively? I want to get ours Before back on track before it’s too late.

Coleen says

Well, why don’t you encourage them? Suggest dressing up and going on a date to make her feel gorgeous again.

She’s in a rut and the relationship is in a rut, so explain to her that you don’t want to let things slide and take each other for granted.

Do it over both of you and not just over her. It’s a difficult discussion, but you have to be diplomatic. Don’t say, “You’re in bed and you’re fat,” because that would destroy their self-esteem.

Word it carefully, make it about you as a couple. Tell her you want the two of you to always make an effort for each other.

If she still doesn’t get it, at some point you need to tell her that she makes you feel like she doesn’t care. Just don’t use the words “fat” and “lazy.” "I don't want to have sex with a vape addicted woman who has gained weight and isn't trying" - Coleen Nolan

Fry Electronics Team

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