Lifestyle

“I hate buying thoughtful gifts for people and getting junk for them” – Coleen Nolan

Daily Mirror’s agony aunt Coleen Nolan advises a woman who’s upset that people haven’t thought through her gifts as she always makes an effort when buying someone a present

A woman is upset after receiving second-hand gifts (stock photo)
A woman is upset after receiving second-hand gifts (stock photo)

Dear Coleen

I find buying gifts for people such a tedious task that I don’t want to do it anymore, nor do I want to receive them.

I would be very happy about a homemade card. I don’t enjoy buying gifts anymore, especially when you feel like you have to because it’s Mother’s Day or Easter or whatever. I also hate seeing all the stores filled with overpriced junk that goes to landfill.

I’ve felt this way for a few years now, but I really tried my best to give gifts to people last Christmas, even though I didn’t want to participate. However, when I opened my gifts, I was shocked at the junk I received.

Some items were used and I know they were bought at a flea market because my mom visits them regularly. To say I was gutted is an understatement. I was so angry and hurt that I drove to the clothes bank and put everything in the donation bucket so I wouldn’t have to look at it.

To be honest, I would rather nothing and I actually cried! I’m not ungrateful, even if it sounds like it, I was just sad.

May I ask your opinion – am I being unreasonable? I just don’t like the feelings all of this evokes in me.

What advice would you give this reader? Share your opinion in the comment section






Coleen Nolan is the mirror’s aunt of death

Coleen says

It doesn’t sound like it’s about money, but that’s how you could explain it to people – just say you can’t afford it.

I think there is something deeper at play here and you need to look within yourself and be honest. Did you find Christmas gifts offensive because they made you feel less valued than other people?

I see how you feel about the commercialization of anniversaries and holidays—there’s a card for everything from your divorce to your dog’s birthday, but you can filter that out.

When I send a card or gift, I never do it with the thought, “You better give one back and it better be good,” or “I’ll only give you a fiver because you gave that to me.”

Sending a card or note, or giving an “old” (ahem) gift is there to remind someone that you care. Maybe you’re saying that you don’t feel cared for, and maybe that’s the conversation you should have with your family.

But it would be good for you to understand your cynicism and anger towards receiving or giving gifts because it feels a bit like cutting yourself off and wanting to be outside of things. I think that would make me lonely.

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https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/relationships/i-hate-buying-thoughtful-gifts-26603913 "I hate buying thoughtful gifts for people and getting junk for them" - Coleen Nolan

Fry Electronics Team

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