“I love my wife but I’m frustrated because her sex drive is way lower than mine” – Coleen Nolan

Agony aunt Coleen Nolan counsels a male reader who becomes frustrated in the bedroom due to a lack of action. He says he loves his wife but she rarely wants to have sex

Couples who have problems in bed
A reader says he has a high sex drive, but his wife is different (stock photo)

Dear Coleen

I’m in my 30s and have been with my wife for eight years. During this time we had two children and family life is good.

She’s my best friend and I love her, but the problem is that she hardly ever wants to have sex.

I have a high sex drive and she doesn’t, so it’s always on her terms and when she wants it. Most of the time she doesn’t want to because she’s tired or blames the kids.

Everything else in our relationship is good, but I don’t think we’ll last long term if that can’t be sorted out.

Can you give any advice?

What advice would you give this reader? Share your opinion in the comment section

Coleen Nolan is the mirror’s aunt of death

Coleen says

I think you need to have a proper conversation outside of the bedroom about how you’re feeling — that it’s not just about sex per se, it’s about feeling close and intimate and protecting the bond you have as a couple to have.

Once sex becomes an issue, it becomes very unsexy, and if she feels pressured and you don’t understand her, she will start teasing you.

Try taking the focus away from sex and consider making her feel attractive, wanted, and valued. She needs to feel like you want to make love to her because you love and want her, and it’s not just straight sex.

When you’re dating for the long term, most people’s sex lives have ups and downs depending on what else is going on in life.

And when you’ve hit rock bottom, you need to talk honestly and listen to your partner and find a way to get through it together.

Much luck.

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