DEAR DEIDRE: For two years I enjoyed an enjoyable sex life with my girlfriend, but now she has admitted that she doesn’t really share my love for the sex scene voyeur.
I think it’s our job to watch other people have sex and sometimes be watched by others.
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For over ten years now, I have known that I am an inquisitive. I enjoy watching other people have intercourse but never had the confidence to share my relationship with girlfriends before.
My current person was the first woman I came into contact with and I’m glad she was as interested as I was in trying out my fetish.
We only share this experience with the full consent of others. The people we’re with always know we’re watching and enjoying the show.
I am 31 years old and my girlfriend is 29 years old.
We watched a few sex acts on vacation and attended swing parties where we watched other people. We also had sex in the same room with another couple, after watching them intimately. None of us wanted to involve someone else in our sex lives, but we were once filmed by another man having sex.
I feel very excited when I know another man is watching us. I enjoyed the experience so much that I suggest having a woman we know film for us next time.
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But I was surprised when my girlfriend admitted that she was satisfied. She admitted she was only going with it for my sake. Now I feel like she hasn’t been honest with me.
We didn’t have the sexual connection that I thought we had. She asked me to see a sex counselor and I agreed but I really didn’t know where to start.
It feels like our sex is on two different wavelengths and I’m not sure if we have a future.
DEIDRE SAYS: Instead of feeling like your girlfriend has flirted with you, consider that your girlfriend is open to trying something new and wants to please you.
She’s trying to connect with you with honesty, so build on that. Ask her about her fantasies, get to know her interests, and show that you also want to share her thoughts about sex.
Ask if there’s anything in particular she’s uncomfortable with when it comes to voyeurism. Is that something you can avoid?
There’s nothing wrong with having hysteria, it’s part of normal sex and seeing a counselor won’t change that.
But if you’re seeing a sex therapist about how you can better connect, it can help.
If both of you are ready to communicate and compromise, you have a way forward. If that’s not possible, I’m afraid it would be better for you to accept that you have separate futures.
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https://www.thesun.ie/dear-deidre/8249306/shocked-my-girlfriend-doesnt-share-love-of-voyeur-sex/ I love watching people have sex but my girlfriend doesn’t