YouTube sessions, breakfast mac ‘n’ cheese, and an 11 p.m. bedtime routine can sound like any kid’s dream routine.
But this is the reality – if they choose – for the daughters of Biba Tanya, Tabitha, seven, and Lola, four, who have no rules and are never told “no” by their mothers.
Recently, the TV presenter Davina McCall, 54 years old, The mother of Holly, 20, Tilly, 18, and Chester, 15, revealed that she has lived “never saying no to a teenager”.
But Biba, 40, believes parents should have abandoned the word much earlier.
Biba, who has lived in the Portuguese Algarve region with her daughters, says: “I never said ‘no’ to my children since leaving Clitheroe, Lancs, in 2020 to go to ‘school’ world” for them.
She added: ‘Tabitha and Lola don’t have a bedtime, are allowed to wake up when they want and dictate what they do all day, including what they eat.
“If more mothers followed my lead, they would have healthier, happier children, with fewer tantrums, less stress, and fewer mental health problems.”
Biba, an author and life coach, has never sent her daughters to school or daycare – so their whole day is spent playing with them, often until quite late.
“Girls usually stay up until after 10pm,” she said. We walk in the evening on the beach, looking at the stars or watching the moon.
“The beauty of not going to school – where children learn through life instead of in the classroom – and being self-employed is that we don’t have to get up to do anything.
“We never wake up to the alarm.
“Girls sometimes ask for unhealthy food for breakfast like cookies and mac ‘n’ cheese, and I oblige.
“I just ask them to listen to their bodies and note how they feel afterwards. They rarely ask for processed crap, but I never say no if they do.
“My four-year-old used to ask to watch YouTube all day. I said: ‘Of course.’ But she came back crying two hours later, saying her head felt funny and she didn’t like the screen.
“By giving my girls responsibility, they naturally choose better habits.
“Strict parents only make kids more likely to rebel when they’re out of sight.”
Biba added: “Some people thought I was sloppy.
“Others see my baby happy and healthy and ask for my advice.
Tabitha and Lola have no bedtime, being allowed to wake up when they want and dictate what they do all day, including what they eat.
“I get looked at by the public if my girls are doing something that society considers dangerous and I just sit there – especially when my 7-year-old is playing with a knife or climbing a mountain with a knife. bare feet.
“But I’m always watching and will step in if they’re at risk.
“I’m teaching my kids to listen to their bodies and respect their environment.
“It worries me that children in schools need to be allowed to use the restroom or go to the water, and be able to say ‘no’.
“My children have a right to their lives. “No” is not a word they hear. “
Her daughters’ father lives in England and supports their unorthodox upbringing
Biba said: “Their father was very supportive of my decision to leave the UK. Although he misses the girls, he always puts them first.
“He’s still a huge part of our lives, he just lives in another country.”
But Biba hasn’t always let her kids dominate, with her 17-year-old son Sebastian, from a previous relationship, having enjoyed a much more structured childhood.
She said: “I was too strict with Sebastian, who still lives in the UK with his father.
If more mothers followed my instructions, they would have healthier, happier children, with fewer tantrums, less stress, and fewer mental health problems.
“I got him into the Gina Ford (childcare author) routine, where meals and nap times were scheduled to the minute. He went to daycare as soon as he was a year old.”
“When I had my first daughter, ten years later, I wanted to raise her differently.
“Eighteen months ago, when my eldest daughter was five years old and my two youngest children, I left the UK to start ‘eduating the world’ for them, so they could learn from traveling. .
“We are now living in the Algarve.
“The girls have decided on their own schedules since then – so we spend most of our days at the beach.
“There are some things I do every day – dancing, journaling and chanting – but it’s not obligatory for the girls to participate.”
TV’s Davina was introduced to the idea of ”never say no” by her friend Katie and claims her children are now less hyperactive.
She said: “Katie said, ‘When they reach their teenage years, you have to discuss it with them because they are becoming young adults.’
I’m seen in public if my girls are doing something society considers dangerous and I’m just sitting there – especially when my 7-year-old is playing with knives or climbing a mountain. bare feet.
“I think you were stricter with teenagers. I said, ‘What? You have to joke? ‘
But Katie says, “You’ll never have a teenager walk out of the room if you don’t say no.”
Biba insists her kids NEVER throw temper.
“I haven’t had to deal with these and they rarely ask to watch TV or eat sweets, because they prefer salads and fruit,” she said.
“I allowed them to eat what they wanted but they paid attention to the feel of sugar and processed foods.”
Biba, whose parents are very strict and sent her to a boarding school, adds: “My children will never be obese because they have a healthy and balanced diet.
“The same goes for device usage time.
“When I ask them what they want to do every morning, the answer is almost always spending time outdoors, which I love.
The beauty of not going to school – where kids learn through life instead of the classroom – and being self-employed is that we don’t have to get up to do anything.
“I don’t teach my children.
“They learned to read and write naturally through curiosity.
“People ask if they’re ‘behind’ – but behind what?
“My four-year-old can name more than 60 different edible herbs.
“My seven-year-old can cook a nutritious meal from scratch.
“The education system organizes everything into subjects when it is not necessary. It’s all just life.”
Children are allowed. . .
- Eat unhealthy foods for breakfast like mac ‘n’ cheese or cookies
- Watch YouTube as much as you want
- Go to bed at 11pm
- Wake up whenever they choose
- Visit the beach instead of school
https://www.thesun.ie/fabulous/8221545/never-say-no-children-parenting-rules/ I never say no to my kids, my 4 year old stays up until 10pm and eats mac ‘n’ cheese for breakfast