DEAR DEIDRE: I told my best man when he personally put on my new wife’s wedding dress.
Coincidentally upstairs in the hotel where we were married, it took me a while to find my bedroom and when I entered, it was clear that I interrupted for a while.
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My wife was lying on her back on the bed laughing and my best friend was reaching into her robe.
They looked shocked when they saw me standing next to them and making up some silly story about how my wife’s clothes had cut her. My best friend “helped her undress”.
I am 28 years old, she is 27 years old and my best friend is 29 years old.
I stormed up and ended up fainting at the bar. The next morning, I woke up to find myself undressed and back in the bridal bed.
My wife told me I was in such a state that four friends had to carry me to bed. She was unimpressed and actually walked in my face for my “shameful behaviour”.
She made it clear to me about my drinking and warned that our marriage would be the shortest in history if I didn’t cut back on the drinking.
There was no apology for her behavior and she refused to discuss what I had seen.
I told her she had cheeks after I found out but she was adamant there was nothing going on between them and they were just messing around.
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I’ve been avoiding my best friend and feel very disappointed with him. He is calling me but so far I have ignored him.
I heard a text in which he apologized for “being free” and blamed the amount he had to drink, saying he would never have touched her if he hadn’t been so drunk.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your new wife and best friend may have gotten into a fight, but what they’re doing is completely inappropriate and could easily lead to more problems if you don’t show up.
So far, your wife has not apologized and is blaming you.
She made a fuss about you drinking to distract attention from her behavior.
Be firm – even if you’re drunk, that doesn’t excuse any cheating.
But if you drink too much and pass out frequently, then you also need to think about how drinking affects you and your relationship.
During a quiet time, sit down with your wife and explain that you want your marriage to work.
Ask her what improvements she needs and this is your chance to tell her what changes you need too.
Make it clear that if you find her again in such a compromising position, you will see it as the end of your marriage.
Contact Wearwithyou.org.uk, offers free, confidential help through local centers for people with drinking problems.
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https://www.thesun.ie/dear-deidre/8176042/best-man-wife-wedding-dress/ I saw my best man lifting my new wife’s wedding dress