THE Sun’s Deborah James has heartbreakingly revealed she wants to die for her children at her parents’ home.
The brave mother-of-two, 40, revealed on her latest podcast that she has chosen home hospice care as her body “just can’t keep going”.
Just days before Christmas 2016, she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer.
Deborah, known to fans as BowelBabe, has been sharing every step of her journey with Sun readers and her legion of loyal Instagram followers.
Even as she stares death in the face, her determination to raise awareness of her rare cancer has not wavered.
The Sun columnist raised a whopping £2million in just 16 hours after launching her BowelBabe Fund.
Deborah has now spoken out about stopping active treatment in the latest episode of her BBC podcast, You, Me and the Big C: Putting the can in cancer.
In a poignant chat with podcast producer and pal Mike Holt, she said an emotional goodbye to her army of loyal listeners.
The activist said she feels “extremely blessed” to have the opportunity to share her story over the years.
She explained she’s “processed what she knew was coming” but is still struggling to come to terms with her fate.
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Deborah said she chose to spend her days on her parents’ property to save her children Hugo, 14, and Eloise, 12, from constant reminders at their family home.
The mum announced: “I’ve decided I want to be with my parents in Woking.
“As much as I love London, I can’t even walk up the steps to pee, it’s not practical and my parents live in a bungalow. And I can see a lot of greenery and my whole family can come here.
“It’s kind of a place where, oddly enough, I’ve always wanted to die. I always had that in mind.
“I think I always knew I didn’t want to be in my London home. It doesn’t feel right to me.
“I can’t describe anything that feels relaxing in that capacity.
“Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful place, but I also don’t think it’s for me, but it means the kids can go back there and not have these medical device scars all over the place.
“It can continue to be her home without those memories, which could be a good thing.”
Please just enjoy life as it is so precious. All I want now is more time and more life.
After reminiscing about her rollercoaster ride five years after her diagnosis, Deborah said she now faces the “unknown.”
Deborah said she “always knew my cancer would get me in the end,” but told the podcast that “life must go on.”
She took solace in the fact that she would be “celebrating” with her late best friend and fellow cancer sufferer Rachael Bland.
Fighting back tears, she said, “I think if she can do it, I can do it. We, on the other hand, always had a joke about grim reapers.
“I still have it as one of my gifs, so it’s ironic. Maybe she’ll meet me on the other side and say, ‘Wow, better late than never!’
Deborah said goodbye and said to a devastated Mike, “We’ll meet again somewhere, somehow dancing.
“And until then, please, please just enjoy life because it’s so precious. All I want now is more time and more life.”
She then joked, “And check your poop. I can’t say another word except “Check your poop.”
The mum previously revealed her devastating prognosis in an emotional post on Instagram, saying it was “the message she never wanted to write.”
It said: “We’ve tried everything but my body just won’t cooperate.
“My active care has ended and I have now been placed in a home hospice with my incredible family around me and the focus is on making sure I am not in pain and spending time with them.
“Nobody knows how long I have left, but I can’t walk, I sleep most of the time and most of the things I took for granted are pipe dreams. I know that we have left no stone unturned.
“But even with all the innovative cancer drugs in the world, or some magical new breakthrough, my body just can’t go on anymore.
“In over five years of writing about how I thought it would be my last Christmas, how I wouldn’t see my 40th birthday and not see my kids go to high school – I never intended to write that where I would actually say goodbye.
“I think it was the rebellious hope in me. But I don’t think anyone can say the last six months have been exactly kind!
“It’s all heartbreaking going through this but I’m surrounded by so much love that I’m hoping if anything can help me.”
Deborah also revealed her BowelBabe fund and urged her supportive fans to help him flourish.
Donations can be made at bowelbabe.org and over £2,100,000 was raised in less than 24 hours.
She asked supporters to buy her a drink to “see me out of this world” by donating the cost to the fund.
The Sun columnist said it would raise money for more life-saving cancer research “to give more Deborahs more time.”
And she wrote: “Right now it’s all about taking it one step at a time, day by day, and being thankful for another sunrise.
“My whole family is around me and we will dance through this together, sunbathe and laugh (I will cry!!) at every possible moment!
“You are all amazing, thank you for playing your part in my journey.
No regret. enjoy life x”
Deborah shared every step of her journey with Sun readers in her column Things Cancer Made Me Say.
Her podcast co-hosts Lauren Mahon and Steve Bland showed their unwavering support for their pal in the comments.
Lauren replied, “I love you. What I would give for one last rosé.”
Steve Bland added, “I love you so much Deb.”
Gaby Roslin, Jess Wright, Andrea McLean, Bowel Cancer UK and Candice Brown also shared their love with her.
https://www.thesun.ie/health/8776033/sun-deborah-james-die-parents-home-sake-of-kids/ I want to die for my children in my parents’ house, says Deborah James in the latest podcast