The idea of online dating has always been pretty daunting to me. Maybe it’s the fear of rejection, not being “attractive enough” for someone and making you feel that way, just with a swipe of your finger.
r, maybe it’s the fear of a date going really wrong. But what makes it even more scary is the fact that I’m a single parent.
Here’s what goes through my mind when I nervously agree to a meeting: “Will they freak out when they find out I have kids? Are you just having fun and trying to get me into bed? Won’t they ‘get it’ if I can’t be spontaneous and pack for a day trip to the country unannounced?”
Half the time I avoid everything together and hope that one day I’ll have that magical chance encounter with my future life partner; the magical “meet cute”. After all, it does happen and it can happen – but apparently only to a lucky few.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some great, long-term relationships that grow out of dating apps — the likes of Tinder, Bumble, and Happn are popular for a reason. But there’s more at stake as single parents — we can’t be as spontaneous or adventurous as we were before our kids were born.
We have responsibilities and we juggle a million things at the same time. Our time is precious. However, we can try to meet with like-minded people and hopefully build meaningful relationships with them.
I believe it’s our right – we deserve to find someone we’re happy with, share experiences, start a family and meet someone who can (hopefully) become a (new) life partner. But how?
In a city where we are all extremely busy and overwhelmed with life and the fast paced lifestyle from work to sports, paying the bills, taking the kids to their after school activities and also fitting into a social life it can become increasingly difficult will you find the time to find love.
video of the day
We don’t walk around with stickers on our foreheads stating our relationship status or what we’re looking for, even though it would make life a lot easier. I love a girls night out when I can find the time and a babysitter to babysit my son but what are the chances of meeting that person that night? There is no “single parent bar” or dedicated meeting place.
As a single parent looking for a meaningful relationship or long-term partner, I’d much rather be dating someone who’s in the same boat, someone who understands what it means to be a parent, and who hopefully also has a sense of the added responsibility about it she.
They know you’re not after a one-night stand, they understand the “baggage” and what comes with single parenthood; and the stress that sometimes comes with it—like a difficult ex-partner or problems raising children.
When I went on a date knowing that like me you are dating another single parent, I knew I had already ticked a few boxes. I knew that by setting my terms from the start, the person I was meeting would not be intimidated by the fact that I had a child; In fact, that’s why they would be attracted to me.
It worked for me – and now I know that it pays to be open about who we are and what we want. Nobody should have to “hide” their family situation – my philosophy is: Love me, love my children.
And that’s the happy ending, right there, isn’t it?
https://www.independent.ie/style/sex-relationships/i-was-a-single-parent-looking-for-love-i-didnt-expect-to-find-it-like-this-41473336.html I was a single mom looking for love – I didn’t expect to find it like this