A reader writes to Mirror’s aunt Coleen Nolan in grief after a major argument with his mother over the woman he wants to marry. His girlfriend has a five-year-old son and an ex is in prison
I’m a 20 year old guy in my final year of college and I’ve fallen in love with my mom because of my girlfriend. She is a local girl who lives near the university and works at a the student bar. I am madly in love with her and plan to ask me to marry her after my course is over.
The thing is, she has an ex in prison and a five-year-old son. She is also a few years older than me, but still only 23.
My mother threw a tantrum when I told her about girlfriend and rumors about how I ruined my own life and she didn’t pay me to go to the best case so I could marry a maid with a kid whose father is a criminal.
It was really annoying and I haven’t talked to her since, even though my dad tried his best to be the mediator in all of this.
I feel very disappointed in my mother for having short-sighted views. She hasn’t even met my girlfriend and if she did, she would see her as a beautiful, intelligent person. As for her son, he’s also great.
I don’t want to start a grudge and never talk to her again, but at the same time, I’m really angry with her and don’t know if I can ever forget or forgive the things she said.
Can you help?
What advice would you give? Have your voice in the comments
Roaring! Okay, obviously your mom was completely frustrated, the rage made her better and she said some things, which I hope she will regret once she has some time to think. .
To me, it’s almost as if she’s living her life through you and your degree means more to her than it should. It’s also not fair to do this about money – she may be paying for your education, but that still doesn’t give her the right to tell you who you can and can’t date.
From what I can understand, this relationship should not affect your studies anyway and you plan to graduate and go to work.
Maybe instead of talking to her, put your feelings in a letter and give her time to think about what you said. As a mother myself, I understand what it feels like to want the best for your child and hope you’ve taught them to make the right choices, but all parents have to accept that their children have to live their own lives and make their own mistakes. .
Also, reassure her that you are studying hard and that she has nothing to worry about. I hope your mother can meet your girlfriend and see what you see in her.
It sounds to me like she’s doing a great job as a single mother and working to support her son. Good luck.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/im-upset-mums-snobbish-rant-26311917 'I'm annoyed by my mother's snobby talk about the girlfriend my ex is in prison' - Coleen Nolan