‘I’m fighting for my marriage, but my husband’s having sex with a girl in the gym’ – Coleen Nolan

Heartbroken Mirror’s Coleen Nolan has advice for a woman who thinks the love of her life might be gay after she spotted him sending explicit messages to someone named Sam

Tired woman
One wife desperately wondered if they should try therapy a fourth time (Available photo)

To Coleen

I’m feeling nervous as I write this, but I think you know what you’re talking about, so let’s get started.

I knew my husband for a few years before we got married when I was 36 and he was 37. I firmly believe and still do, this man was for me in many ways. With this in mind, I want to continue to fight for our marriage, which has lasted for almost a decade.

I found out he was sending explicit messages to someone named Sam two years ago. I had a confrontation with him then and we decided to let it go because we love each other so much.

While it’s been hard to trust him since then, I feel like it’s something I can forgive and move on.

However, last week, I was approached by “Sam” at gym We both went to see the man who told me all they had been talking about and said he wanted to put it off his conscience.

Yes, “Sam” turned out to be a man.

I never thought of the possibility that the person my husband was texting was a man.

Doing this means my husband is gay?

This changes everything for me and I simply cannot look at him with the same adoration that I once did. Do I confront him? Do we go back to therapy a fourth time and try to fix this? Or is our relationship simply too much to deal with?

I want to support and love him forever, but I don’t want a gay husband.

What advice would you give? Have your voice in the comments

Coleen Nolan is Mirror’s resident painful aunt

Coleen said

You have to confront your husband. Tell him Sam approached you at the gym and took what he offered as an explanation. This happened to two friends of mine who were in opposite-sex marriages and found out years later that their partner was gay.

First of all, if your husband is bisexual or gay it doesn’t take away from the fact that he loves you. But he has to be honest with you.

If he admits he has sex with this guy, the main thing to do (and I know this is hard) is to stay calm. If he has the courage to open up to you, listen to what he has to say.

You will feel angry and will need your own support. But try to find some empathy for him because it can be hard to lie to you and not feel like the real him. He may have grown up with a homophobic attitude and didn’t feel able to come out.

I don’t see why you would want to try to make your marriage work if he’s gay – what’s the point? Neither of you will be happy. But you can still be friends – both of my mates are able to stay close to their ex-partners.

It’s been a sad situation for all involved, but I suspect if you’ve had three treatments already, the problems could be rooted in the fact that he has struggled with his sexuality for a long time. many years.

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https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/im-fighting-marriage-husband-sexting-26484111 'I'm fighting for my marriage, but my husband's having sex with a girl in the gym' - Coleen Nolan

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