‘I’m frustrated because I always have to initiate sex with my boyfriend’ – Coleen Nolan

A reader told Mirror’s aunt Coleen Nolan that she loves her boyfriend but he has issues with his weight and bed confidence, meaning she’s always the one to initiate sex.

To Coleen

I have been with my boyfriend for three and a half years. We have a great relationship – soulmates, I’ll say – but I get frustrated when it comes to sex because he never initiates it.

He’s a bit overweight and I think this is a problem for him. We used to make love in the dark (or at least in very low light) and I always had to take the lead.

I’ve mentioned his weight in the past, which I think hurts him, but I’m trying to get him to value his health more and be more proud of himself.

I would like some advice.

What advice would you give? Have your voice in the comments

Coleen said

Well, it will be insecurity on his part – he will be scared of rejection and of course, he will remember what you said about his weight and will worry that you don’t see him interesting.

I think you need to discuss it when you tell him that mentioning his weight has nothing to do with you not liking him and not wanting to have sex, but that you want him around. stay with him for as long as possible and want him to be healthy.

As part of this discussion,
Why not ask him why he doesn’t initiate sex? And tell him it would be great if he really wanted you.

Try to build his confidence with reassurance and positivity about what you love about him. Hopefully that helps his self-esteem.