Is it wrong that I actually quite like ‘woo-woo high priestess’ Gwyneth Paltrow?

I think we owe this perennial gift guide a debt of service – after all, it has provided us with so much entertainment over the years. Be it thinking what kind of person would buy a 24-carat gold dildo or imagining exactly what happened during the brainstorming session that led to the creation of the (supposedly exploding) scented candle. My Vagina.

This year, the good people at Goop did not disappoint; a do-it-yourself prosthetic that allows recipients to make their own sex toys, “giftable stools” (a custom-made poop bag), a cryotherapy tank, and a feminist sex machine compensation (priced around €29K if you’re in the market).

As US site The Cut puts it: “At this point, Goop is just luring us into talking about how ridiculous their gift guides are… And you know what? We will gladly take its collagen-enhanced, diamond-encrusted lure.”

Also this week, Goop announced it will expand its empire with a new audio podcast The Goop Pursuit. Paltrow will appear in a number of podcasts exploring generations’ attitudes to issues of sex and health.

Paltrow already has The Goop Podcast; it came out in 2018 and Oprah was the first guest. It’s been described as “unbearable” and “nonsense” hitting women’s insecurities about age and diet.

But that’s a bit of a rebuttal. Paltrow is a shrewd businesswoman and her empire depends on a combination of the ridiculous (Gift Guide) and the sensible. I had a slight change in my mind about her while watching her 2021 Netflix series Love, Sex and Goop helped couples overcome sexual incompatibility. There are many rumors surrounding the series; There are audio recordings of Paltrow talking about a “sexual porn board” and lots of pictures of her standing in front of a rose petal pussy.

On the surface, it looks like it’s going to be completely silly. But then I watched it and I have to say it was very good. It is considered, intelligent and even, at times, moving. Paltrow knows when to step back and let sex therapists take the wheel, and all couples – of many genders, ages and races – are given the right advice. They are also treated with respect.

And that’s rare on TV. In many UK shows that focus on sex or relationships, there are loads of terrible puns and know how to wink at the camera. The guidance that Paltrow and the therapists give is really practical and practical.

On other podcasts and interviews, Paltrow has spoken honestly about parenting and the devastating impact her father’s death had on her. “It’s so physical, it feels like it’s tearing me apart.”

Paltrow knows the value of creating outrage in a very clean California beach blonde way. She also knows what resonates with the majority of her female audience. If she didn’t exist and Goop existed purely to be mocked, it wouldn’t be a million dollar empire.

Lots of celebrities have tried to replicate what she’s done with varying success – the Kardashians, Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss and HRH Gemma Collins. But no one has come close.

It’s easy to see why she pisses everyone off so much. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with all the weird things she has to say; maybe encouraging women to steam their own private parts or saying she’d rather die than let her kids eat Cup-A-Soup (haven’t heard her say anything about Pot Noodle yet).

She is also very rich. In fact, she’s so rich that she forgot about participating in Marvel movies until she was prompted to air by the film’s director. She can also say very, very stupid things. Like when she tried to sell jade vaginal eggs but then had to turn around and pay $145,000 for making “unsubstantiated” marketing claims. It turns out that pushing the stone on it doesn’t “balance hormones, regulate menstrual cycles, or prevent uterine prolapse.”

But despite all that, she’s still incredibly popular. I think it’s partly because she’s not apologetic about what she’s selling. While other celebrities spend a lot of time, money and PR campaigns to show how real and grounded they are, Paltrow is racing to launch branded cruise ships. private, hop into vats of gold paint and pose naked.

I think, for me, that’s the catch; that she lives in that dimension of fantasy movie stars, talks nonsense about the importance of sex dust, but then suddenly offers tons of very practical advice. It’s an interesting mix.

Ryan embraces his inner Larry David for the Toy Show

Speaking of festive gift guides, this Friday will see Ryan Tubridy slip on his dance shoes and host the annual juggle that is Late, late toy show.