A reader writes to Mirror resident Coleen Nolan for advice as she and her lover want to end their marriages and expose their affair
(Image: Getty Images/Vetta)
I am a married woman aged 38 and have been having an affair with someone for some time. He is also married and we both have young children with our partners.
I feel stressed out all the time because I feel guilty and don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m in love with this other man and he feels the same way. We both feel like we got married too soon, but then kids came along and there seemed no way out.
We know we want to be together, but realize it’s going to hurt a lot of people. Can you please let us know what we are going to do next?
What advice would you give this reader? Share your opinion in the comment section
If you really think your marriage is over and you want to be together, then tell your partners. Continuing this affair is not the solution and the longer you try to keep it a secret, the greater the risk of being discovered. I think it’s better to control the delivery of this news and be honest with your spouses.
It will still hurt your partners, of course, but you have to admit it.
However, be very sure that this guy you are having an affair with is on the same page. I’m just wondering why you haven’t already left your partners so you can be together – is there any doubt?
I would stop seeing him for now and give you some space to discuss things with your husband and make a plan, of course keeping the welfare of your children high on the agenda.
The Mirror’s newsletter brings you the latest news, exciting showbiz and TV stories, sports updates and important political information.
The newsletter is sent by e-mail first thing in the morning at 12 noon and first thing in the evening.
Don’t miss a moment by subscribing to our newsletter here.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/relationships/its-going-hurt-people-want-27112045 "It's going to hurt people, but we want to make our affair public" - Coleen Nolan