Kate Ferdinand says she sometimes “wishes Rebecca was here again” as she describes how she struggles to see her family grieve
Video not available
Kate Ferdinand has described the “bizarre” sense of grief for Rebecca, her husband Rio’s late wife, for never meeting her in person.
Rebecca Ellison tragically passed away at the age of 34 after a brief battle with breast cancer in 2015, leaving behind the former footballer, 43, and their three children. Lorenz, 15, Tate, 13, and Tia, 10, devastated.
Kate said she found herself sometimes “wishing Rebecca was here again” as she described how she struggles with seeing her family grieve in her latest episode of her podcast. Mixed.
Speaking to psychotherapist Julia Samuel, Kate said: “I don’t know if I’m mad at the kids or at myself. I wish she were here again.
“I can see the pain that the kids are in, and then it brings up this situation with the sliding door where I’m like, ‘Well, if she were here, I wouldn’t be here.’
Getty Images Europe)
“Me and Tia actually talked about it quite a bit, she’s like, ‘I want mom back, but where would you be?’ and it just starts with all these crazy thoughts.
“Just for me in general, when I’m having a tough day, I feel like I took their grief on myself. I find it bizarre because I never knew her mother, but sometimes you just have to get out of the house and go for a walk.”
Kate, who welcomed 15-month-old son Cree in December 2020, said she hasn’t “managed to accept” the children losing their mother and that grief as a family “can feel like a mind field at times “. .
“I find it really hard with the kids, especially because it’s so up and down,” she continued. “I feel like when you’re expecting it build yourself up for certain days like anniversaries or Mother’s Day.
“You expect it to be this super emotional day and sometimes it might not and it sometimes comes when you really don’t expect it.
“It’s so hard, isn’t it? It’s so hard to support someone who is grieving and it’s really difficult to know when it’s the right time to talk to them.
“Sometimes I feel like we talk openly about her mother all the time, she’s very present in our home. But I don’t know when is the right time for a deep conversation.
“If they seem really happy, I don’t want to talk about their mother and make them sad. We have our deepest conversations on our walks and it all seems to come out.”
Kate continued on how she struggles with the term “stepmom” but doesn’t know how to describe herself without “making the kids uncomfortable because I’m not their mom.”
She continued, “I was really worried when I was pregnant with Cree, or even before I had him, that people wouldn’t recognize me as a parent because I wasn’t a biological parent.
“You’ve often made me feel like ‘if you’re a mom’ and I already felt like a mom to a certain extent. I take care of these kids every day. I love them as if they were my own. I adore them and really nothing different about Cree, apart from being there from the beginning.”
Rio and Rebecca married in 2009 – three years after giving birth to their first son, Lorenz. Tragedy struck the family when Rebecca died of cancer in 2015.
Two years later, the former footballer found love with ex-TOWIE star Kate and they tied the knot in 2019 when Rio’s son Lorenz and Tate walked them down the aisle.
The television personality has since started a podcast to discuss being part of a blended family in hopes it will help others going through similar situations.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/kate-ferdinand-says-finds-herself-26592253 Kate Ferdinand says she wants Rebecca, husband Rio's late wife, back.