Keith Walsh: ‘I gave up alcohol to reduce anxiety – after a weekend of drinking I was plagued by it until Wednesday’

“Before I gave up, I liked to have a few beers on a Friday night and then maybe open a bottle of Prosecco to share with my wife,” he says. “I might do the same thing on a Saturday, and that would be pretty much everything, apart from a beer or two on a Sunday or weekday if there’s an event. And of course when I was away or off for something like Christmas it was free for everyone and I had a few drinks every night, sometimes even starting in the afternoon.

“I never drank spirits and never got a hangover as I was a fairly moderate drinker, but still I knew it wasn’t good for me as I used to suffer from anxiety a lot – and regularly, after the few drinks I had at the weekend I was awake most of Sunday night and went straight to work on Monday with very little sleep. I would be plagued by anxiety by Wednesday and then by Thursday I would be fine as it was almost the weekend. So I thought the challenge would be good for me as it would also help reduce my anxiety.”

​Walsh, who lives in Kildare with his wife Suzanne and their two teenage children, says he had no trouble with the 100 Day Challenge he set himself. But as the end date came and went, he didn’t feel like starting drinking again, so he just held off with no long-term plan.

“Before I took on the challenge, I always thought about alcohol in the sense that I didn’t think I could drink because I had to work the next day,” he admits. “But I could easily steer clear of it for weeks if I had a big job as I knew it would affect my anxiety – so giving up the 100 days didn’t have a hard time.

“Anxiety was my biggest problem and I began to realize that alcohol was a form of self-medication for me. I had seen a therapist to try to overcome the anxiety and discovered I had ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), chronic anxiety and a few other autistic issues – things I might never have discovered if I kept drinking as I masked my thoughts and calmed my mind with the drink.

“Of course there were times during The 100 Days when I was tempted to ask myself what the point of giving up is, since I should enjoy myself because life is too short. Plus, I also felt a weird sense of guilt because the giving up didn’t just affect me — I’d also taken away my wife and I’s ritual of sharing a bottle of wine while we watched a movie. But I was determined to stick with it.

“So once the date was over and I was offered a drink, I changed my mind and even though an inner voice told me not to be so uptight and just have one drink, I decided against it.”

While it wasn’t the station’s original plan to quit drinking, he continued to follow his intuition, not only accepting a drink when it was offered but refusing it every time.

This was because he was physically better and more able to control his emotions, although his anxiety symptoms hadn’t gone away.

“During the initial challenge I continued to have panic attacks and anxiety and without the drink there was no joy, so I knew my problems weren’t just caused by alcohol,” he says. “I remember telling a friend that I lost my mojo and that it all seemed pointless as I couldn’t even go to the pub and laugh. At that point, I wasn’t enjoying life without alcohol, but I knew I had to go further to find out what the problem was.

“Once the 100 days were up I was really tempted to just give in as alcohol is a great medicine for anxiety and ADHD as it calms the mind and allows you to be still. Thinking back, it was a glass of wine in the evening that allowed me to sit down and watch a movie without my mind going hyper.

“After I had therapy and found out what had been happening over the years, I had a clearer picture of things. And without the alcohol, I found my sleep had improved tremendously, although I was still anxious. I felt less anger, I was more level headed and less triggered. And my wife said I look better, so there were definite health benefits. I’ve also changed my workouts—when I was drinking, I’d hit the gym and run a lot, often to eliminate weekend drinking through sweating. Now I walk a lot and play a bit of soccer so it’s less manic and less intense. These were among the reasons why I decided to continue to abstain from alcohol.”

The decision to stop drinking should be a personal decision, but sometimes friends can, knowingly or unknowingly, pressure the person to “let their hair down.” The father-of-two says he’s seen some of that, but when he decided not to, he stuck with it.

“A couple of friends would have kindly told me that if we were going to a festival or something on a certain weekend, I had to have a drink,” he says. “But it wouldn’t bother me at all, I’d either tell them to fuck off or I’d say I would and then just not drink. Also, the year of lockdown definitely helped me stick to my plan as no one was meeting. And by the time we did that, I had given up for quite a while.

“I think it’s also easier these days because there’s a good selection of non-alcoholic beers and people either don’t know you don’t drink alcohol or they don’t care. And honestly, now that I’m older, I don’t really care that much what people think anyway.”

The 49-year-old says he takes things one day at a time and doesn’t rule out drinking again in the future. He would advise others looking to quit to think about why they’re drinking and how it’s benefiting them — but if they enjoy it and do it in moderation, then “good luck to them.”

“Right now I can’t really see myself ever drinking again but I have this notion that in the future me and Suzanne will be on holiday and enjoying a glass of wine in the evening – whether that will happen or not I don’t know , but I try not to think too much,” he says.

“It’s difficult to give other people advice on quitting because it’s so individual. For some people, a few glasses of wine at the weekend are the lifesaver and they need self-medication to cope with life’s stresses. If it’s getting out of hand or they’re overly dependent on it then of course that’s a different problem so I would tell them to try to figure out why they need it, what it does for them and how it makes them feel.

“I think it’s also a good thing to talk to a therapist, not necessarily about drinking but just to find out if there’s anything else going on. But I wouldn’t tell anyone not to drink if they feel like they need to – I know a lot of people have dry January and it can often make (what can be a dreary month) worse for them . So I think anyone planning to do this should try to figure out why they’re drinking – just giving it up for a while isn’t the answer, you have to face up to why you need a drink and then you’ll just quit .

“But some people can only have a few drinks at the weekend. And if that’s the case, then I would say that they should enjoy it.”

For information about alcohol and advice on reducing or giving up, go to drinkaware.ie and hse.ie