Moments in the Dwarven Fortress where players went too far

FANS were thrilled to see that an updated version of Dwarf Fortress is available on Steam to build their citadels all over again.

Although there doesn’t seem to be much to see, there is a deep complexity just beneath the surface.

Dwarf Fortress is a sprawling world.


Dwarf Fortress is a sprawling world.Credit: Book 12 games

Players have used this complexity to make weird and wonderful things happen in the game.

Here are the times when Dwarven Fortress players have gone too far.

Dwarven Fortress: The Pitfalls of Pitfalls

Pitfalls are an important part of the dwarven stronghold as they prevent other beasts from invading your base.

They can also be used to execute prisoners if you want to keep your dwarves’ hands clean.

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Discussion of using pitfalls soon focused on how to optimize their structure.

A lead base was considered optimal as the material’s density resulted in more fatal falls.

Flood systems were then implemented to wash away the remains of the monsters to prevent them from accumulating in the pit and rendering it worthless.

People placed a single spear in the pit to impale enemies, but soon learned that falling enemies could parry it, saving themselves from certain death and becoming a legendary warrior.

However, instead of removing the spikes, players saw this as an opportunity.

Dwarven Fortress: Hardcore Nursery

By sending young dwarves into the spike pits, a percentage of them would return hardened soldiers.

Dwarf children are not particularly helpful as they can only complete simple tasks.

Many players lock their children in a room with enough food to survive into adulthood and keep them away from danger.

Aside from the spike pits, other efforts were made to harden these children.

They were locked in rooms where dogs fought to the death, or were repeatedly exposed to small amounts of lava.

The best way to train your baby is to strap him to a warrior and have him walk on spikes repeatedly to get a few hairs on his chest.

Dwarven Fortress: Drunken Cats

It’s not all doom and gloom for the vulnerable beings who live in the dwarven fortress.

When players noticed that the cats in the fortress were getting sick and dying, they became concerned, and not just because it was causing rat infestations.

It turned out that the cats were exposed to beer and wine, which dwarves inevitably spilled on their tamers, and suffered alcohol poisoning as a result.

It seemed impossible to keep the kittens away from the wine, so the players did the only thing they could.

They complained to the developers, who soon solved the problem by increasing the furry friends’ alcohol tolerance.

Dwarven Fortress: The Merpeople Incident

In a version of Dwarf Fortress, the developers introduced new creatures, merpeople, with the added benefit of having particularly valuable bones.

However, Dwarf Fortress players are nothing short of efficient, and they soon began making plans to farm them within their walls.

Merpeople naturally live in the sea and have a moderate level of intelligence, meaning that breeding them in an underground lair was no easy feat. Solving the problem only made the prospect more appealing.

Various trapping methods, prisons and ways to separate the children have been devised, as well as ways to optimize breeding and automatically make the merpeople slaughter.

Once the entire process was optimized, players began digging pits under the ocean with trapdoors that caged the merpeople.

This forced them to reproduce and send their children to be slaughtered as soon as they were born.

Children formed as many bones as adults, so they were not allowed to mature.

Typically, developers let players do whatever they want within the game, curious as to what exactly comes to mind.

But it seems that industrial genocide has gone a step too far and a secret patch release has reduced the value of Aquarius Bones.

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Written by Marco Wutz and Georgina Young on behalf of GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN.

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