A mother of two has spoken openly about why she “sadly hates” Mother’s Day and can’t wait for it to be over as her own mother’s absence is particularly painful at this time of year
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For many happy people Mother’s Day can be a very happy day indeed, a day to spend with a beloved mother, grandma, aunt, or any number of caring female characters in their lives.
One mother has spoken openly about why this very day is being so difficult for her, so much so that she can’t wait for it all to be over.
The unnamed mother has two children of her own under the age of six, but “just can’t take Mother’s Day anymore.” Sadly, she lost her own mother 11 years ago and has found it hasn’t been like that since.
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Speaking to Mumsnet, the grieving woman explained that she wants all other mums to enjoy their special day “no matter what the circumstances”.
However, she has found that her husband just doesn’t care to celebrate, causing her to “feel stupid for expecting any excitement.”
This disappointment is made all the more painful by the memories of the time with her own mother on Mother’s Day, for which her family always went to great lengths.
The poster – who goes by the username Sunnygardens22 – wrote: “I adored my mother and even after all this time I miss her very much. We always made a fuss of her, she was the center of the family.
“Unfortunately, I think I naturally expected the same for myself. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is an amazing father and works extremely hard, but I can’t lay the spoon on how to dedicate a day to someone or demonstrate how to make someone feel special.
“We have planned an outing for the kids, but of course it will be stressful and the opposite of a relaxing day! I seem ungrateful, but I didn’t just want more.”
She continued, “I’m still doing the usual routine, no sleeping in. I’m looking around and it’s going to be dinner time soon and I suppose I need to fix that.
“I’m terrible at asking for what I want and he knows it. In an ideal world, I’d be over my mother with a tea and a laugh, a full-bodied roast and a chat. I can’t wait for this day to be over.”
Her Mumsnet colleagues understand how difficult this day must be for her and have assured her that she is not the least bit ungrateful.
One person advised: “I’m sorry about your mother! I think you just have to say, ‘I know it’s not a big deal to you, but it would mean a lot to me if you and the kids did some fun and made a fuss for Mother’s Day.
“It was a big thing growing up in my home and I’m saddened not to continue that with our family. It doesn’t have to be much – help the kids choose or make a card and some flowers, and a nice lunch’ [or whatever would be good for you]”.
Another said: “I’m so sorry about your mum, it sounds like you had a wonderful relationship, no wonder it’s hard for you today. I think women are particularly culturally conditioned to be small and not articulate our needs, so I understand your uneasiness about being asked for stuff.
“But it’s a skill you can constantly learn and improve. It will also be helpful in many other areas of your life and then you will be able to create wonderful Mother’s Day experiences with your own children that they will cherish for years to come”.
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https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/family/mums-heartbreaking-explanation-hates-mothers-26568004 Mom's heartbreaking explanation of why she 'hates' Mother's Day and wants it to be over