My boyfriend spoils me but I can never climax when we make love

DEAR DEIDRE: I feel so hot just looking at my boyfriend but I can never climax when we have sex.

We tried everything – special lubrication, different positions, various toys and vibrators, but nothing worked.

My boyfriend spoils me but I can never climax when we make love


My boyfriend spoils me but I can never climax when we make love

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I’m worried he thinks I don’t like him.

He’s 27, I’m 26 and we’ve been together for six months.

I had a few one-night stands before meeting my partner, and I never ended up on those occasions. I assumed it was because they were always after a few glasses of wine and I was nervous.

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When I masturbate by myself, I orgasm easily so I told my boyfriend to do the same. But I didn’t even come close.

Any advice?

DEIDRE SAYS: Our sex organs are closely linked to our brain. So if you’re feeling stressed or anxious, you may have a hard time letting go.

You’re still early on in your relationship, so you may feel self-conscious or struggle to be completely in the moment.

My support pack Orgasm For Women has several exercises. Perhaps let them go with your partner.

Seeing a sex therapist can also help. Find someone locally through College Sex and Relationship Therapists (costt.org.uk020 8106 9635).

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