Distressed Mirror’s Coleen Nolan has advice for a reader who wants to fix his marriage but feels uncomfortable about his wife’s behavior
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I am a man in my 30s and I recently found out that my wife has been romantically involved with another man.
Basically, it’s like an emotion Workalthough she did admit to kissing him.
I was hurt and angry, and I wouldn’t have found out unless I caught some texting between them on a shared computer.
It’s been going on for a few months and I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t found out by accident.
She admitted that they got too close and desperately wanted to make things right between us, and said it made her realize she didn’t want to ruin our marriage.
She insisted it was a distraction and evasion, but she would never sleep with him or leave me for him.
I’m trying my best to get over it, but I’m confused because she now wants more sex than before and is trying to do nice things for me and be really thoughtful.
It just makes me feel suspicious and a little frustrated.
Can you shed some light?
She may feel guilty and is trying to prove to you that she wants to be with you and that she can be all that you want.
Why don’t you talk to her about how you feel? Admittedly you haven’t gotten over it yet because it takes time to move on from something like this. And also admit that you are feeling insecure, suspicious, and resentful.
Unless you talk, you won’t know what she’s thinking and why she’s behaving a certain way.
You also need to talk about why she needs a distraction and an outlet, and what you can do to prevent both of you from feeling the same way in the future.
Regarding sex, I think having more sex is actually quite common after an affair by any description because you feel like the relationship is at stake. When I found out my first husband was having an affair, I gave him the best sex of his life!
I wanted to prove that I still could and show him what he might have to lose. And it’s the same with him – he wants to prove that he still wants me.
Emotional setbacks will subside and as long as you keep talking and keep being honest, you can find your way back to each other.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/my-cheat-wife-suddenly-wants-26405662 'My cheating wife suddenly wants to have more sex with me since I found out about her affair' - Coleen Nolan