My daughter ended up getting a tattoo – even the words of wisdom from Ozzy Osbourne couldn’t stop her

i love a good list With a large family, you live off them—shopping lists, school book lists, Santa lists. Without the focus and energy that comes from checking things off a list, you would be completely listless. But sometimes it’s important to keep a list that serves no purpose other than to make you feel a little better. I’m talking about the list of enemies, of course, and mine is an ever-growing one. There are the usual suspects – school bullies, queue skippers, or anyone who does it better than me (that’s quite a long list). But the bulk of the list is made up of people who don’t read this column. Relax, dear reader, since you’re obviously not addressing this, but there are many others who, for one reason or another (illiteracy is the only explanation I’ll accept) choose to avoid my award-winning work.

The latest addition to this list are the organizers and vendors of the local tattoo festival. I had assumed that they would all be avid readers of my work given the similarities between their craft and my newspaper column – both involve ink delivered by a painful prick – but no, they are not. If so, they would have read my column three years ago about how strongly I opposed my beloved daughter getting a tattoo. I agonized over 700 brilliant and revealing words about how she would never, ever get one, and gave all sorts of reasons, many of them fictional, in my fight against her inking. My daughter ended up getting a tattoo – even the words of wisdom from Ozzy Osbourne couldn’t stop her

Fry Electronics Team

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