My fiancé says my body is a shortcut and he likes to please himself
DEAR DEIDRE: DISCOVERING my fiancé cheated on me with a woman in her sixties made me very insecure.
I’m 31 and my fiancé 36. It breaks my heart when he turns to someone over 30 years older than me.
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It started when our neighbor’s car broke down on our street and my fiancé helped her.
It is clear that she is very grateful.
He started coming around regularly to help her do it herself.
At the same time, he started going to the gym and taking care of what he ate, even cutting back on beers.
He then told me that he was no longer attracted to me.
He said that my body is a nasty thing and that he likes to take selfies.
We were both heavy when we met.
Back then, that wasn’t a problem, as we both agreed that we both preferred a plumper.
I admit that I have gained a lot more weight since then and am now classified as morbidly obese.
I became depressed after my mother died of a heart attack when I was 25 years old. I never thought about my mother’s death.
I just can’t get over it.
Food is the only thing that seems to comfort me. I’m trying my best to lose weight but it’s too hard.
I suspected this neighbor and my fiancé but he always denied it, accusing me of being “sick”.
So the next time he came to her place, I followed after 30 minutes.
She took a long time to get to the door and finally answered in a dress dressed in a very confused look.
I was heartbroken but relieved when he finally admitted everything.
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We’re still together because of our two-year-old daughter and he insists it’s over.
But he was very upset with me.
He screams and curses at me all the time. I feel sad a lot of the time. I am existing, not living.
DEIDRE SAYS: Swearing and using words that hurt, belittle, or demean you is emotional abuse.
He’s the one responsible for ruining your relationship.
He shows you disrespect and lies to you.
You deserve better than this.
My support package Abuse partner? explain more.
What makes you feel better almost immediately is taking control of your life.
Lose extra weight – not because of your fiancé’s cruel remarks, but because it will be good for your health.
Ask your doctor about an eating and exercise plan.
Emotional eating after the death of a loved one is a very common side effect of the bereaved, but it is not too late to seek help.
My Coping With Bereavement package will also help you.
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