“My husband didn’t want to come home when I gave birth – he didn’t even ask for a photo”
A 29-year-old new mum was disappointed when her husband missed the birth of their baby after deciding to visit his daughter from a previous relationship when she was due to give birth
A disgruntled new mom took to Reddit to write down her frustrations over the birth of her daughter, which wasn’t quite the experience she was hoping for.
The 29-year-old was so frustrated with what her husband had done that she sought advice from other Redditors online.
She explained that her 32-year-old husband has a 12-year-old daughter from a previous relationship who competes in competitive fencing.
The original poster said they had a good relationship with her even though she lives with her mother, her husband’s ex, but she “hangs out with her a lot”.
Her husband wanted to visit his daughter at a fencing competition, but the mum-to-be was worried – as she was 39 weeks pregnant and due any moment.
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She suggested they send a gift as an alternative, but he insisted he wanted to fly to see his daughter, assuring his wife she would be “fine”.
As a “compromise,” he suggested that her best friend stay with her while he was away, just in case she had a child while he was away.
The original poster said she felt “terrible” and “selfish” for asking him not to go, but was “scared” to give birth without him.
She gave birth on Wednesday evening before her husband returned via emergency c-section – and only managed to get in touch after their daughter was born.
The horrified mum wrote: “Once he knew she and I were safe and well he didn’t want to fly back.
“He said we were fine now and the competition hadn’t happened yet so there was no point in upsetting his daughter and he was going to fly back on Friday anyway.
“I was exhausted and deaf at the time, so I didn’t even object, even though my girlfriend called him every swear word she could think of.
“However, what hurt the most was that he didn’t ask for a single picture of our daughter or to zoom to see her.
“On Friday morning he told me he was going to miss his return flight as he was feeling under the weather and he didn’t want to risk it being covid and bring it back I admit that broke me a little and as I asked If he didn’t want to come home, he told me I was being ridiculous.
“By that point I had had enough and told him to come back whenever he felt like it, but I would stay with my boyfriend with the baby when I got out of the hospital as I had a few things to think about.
“She was trying to get me to stay with her anyway, so I knew she would be fine. He just told me that was fine and to come back when I stopped his hissing.
“Not once has he asked to see our daughter or worried about either of us after the emergency c-section.
“I grew up caring, and a mother alone is better than no one, and I know firsthand that I’m not going to try and make things work just for her.
“So yes, here I am right now – in a lot of emotional and physical pain, but I have my little girl in my arms.
“I will probably speak to some lawyers soon to ask what to do in the future.”
Other Redditors were horrified by the story, saying what he did was “harrowing”.
One irritated user commented, “I would probably dump someone just for calling my perfectly valid feelings a ‘hissing fit’.”
Another said: “Imagine you’re overdue and your husband doesn’t treat you and having a baby as a priority.
“The Abandonment and the Betrayal.”
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/my-husband-didnt-want-come-26921084 "My husband didn't want to come home when I gave birth - he didn't even ask for a photo"