‘My husband said nothing happened after flirting texts with his hairdresser’ – Coleen Nolan

A reader writes to Mirror’s grieving aunt Coleen Nolan after her husband destroyed her trust by becoming close with his hairdresser. She accused him of having an affair, but he denied it.

To Coleen

My husband has formed a friendship with his hairdresser, whom he will be visiting for several years. At first, I thought nothing of it, even the fact that they had each other’s cell phone numbers.

I didn’t feel threatened at all – he also took our son there for a haircut.

Then he started guarding his phone and even ran halfway across the room to pick it up when it rang! I was starting to suspect that something was going on, so I tried to grab his phone and go through it. There were dozens of flirty texts between them and in one he even said he was going to take the dog for a walk, so he could swing by her salon.

I got mad and accused him of having an affair, but he denied it and said that they were only close as friends, but hadn’t slept together or even kissed.

He promised to find a new hair salon and wouldn’t text her again, but one night he left his phone on the table in the shower and a text came in from her, asking how everything was. and if he wants to talk.

I was so angry and felt like an idiot. What should I do?

What advice would you give? Have your voice in the comments

Coleen said

I think romance is what’s happening, whether he wants to admit it or not. He’s gotten close to another woman, they’re obviously confiding in each other, he’s looking for an excuse to see her and he’s intentionally hiding their messages from you.

It’s easy to assert that “nothing happened” when nothing is happening, but the reality is he’s hiding this relationship from you because he knows it’s crossing the line. . If they were nothing more than friends or acquaintances, there would be no reason to hide anything.

This kind of “infidelity” can hurt just as much as sex – there’s emotional closeness and he’s willing to risk your marriage for it.

You have to confront him about this latest message. Don’t let him squirm and assume you’re paranoid, so you can make the decision.

He promised you he would stop texting her but he didn’t. Does he want to keep this friendship or keep his marriage? Good luck.