CALL VI: My husband died by suicide almost two years ago and I feel like I’ve been stuck ever since.
We have two children who are now ten and eight years old. I’m 37 years old.
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My husband died at the age of 36.
I put all my heart into the kids and make sure they know that their dad loves them.
The truth is I don’t know why he took my life. I know he gets a little stressed out at work sometimes but he never wants to talk about it.
My parents were brilliant but my husband blamed me for his death.
Immediately after his funeral, they asked why I hadn’t told them about his problems.
They said they would and could have helped.
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I explained that I didn’t realize how short he was. His father looked very angry when he asked, “How did you not know? You lived with him. ”
It hurts and I feel like I let everyone down.
DEIDRE SAYS: Feelings of guilt after the loss of a loved one is completely normal – even if not related to the suicide.
So many of their loved ones don’t realize how depressed people who continue to take their own lives are depressed for the simple reason that they often don’t tell anyone.
Your husbands will certainly recognize their guilt and anger towards you.
Please contact cruse.org.uk (0808 808 1677) which volunteers will assist you.
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