My lover, 72 years old, wants to be with me but his wife is showing signs of memory loss

DEAR DEIDRE: Until my wife started showing signs of amnesia, my lover was going to divorce me to be with me.

I’ve been seeing this man, someone I’ve known since I was a teenager, for almost a year.

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He lives an hour’s drive away but we spend our days hanging out together and sometimes having evenings together. We are both 72.

I was widowed 5 years ago. I’m often asked by men, but I don’t have the same connection with them as with him.

His wife stays at home all the time and doesn’t go out in the garden. He became her caretaker but he was hopelessly unhappy.

He worries that if he leaves his wife to be with me, his family won’t forgive him and he won’t see his grandchildren.

Even though he doesn’t have a marriage to talk about, it still doesn’t feel right to me.

Should I end this relationship, even though both of us are heartbroken?

DEIDRE SAYS: Capturing distant moments won’t help you figure out if you have a future.

Right now, you’re giving him everything on the plate.

He has his family life and his secret love affair. He is managing to keep the two completely separate.

I’m sending you your Lover support package Not free? This will help you protect yourself and figure out what’s best for both of you.

I know it’s painful but it’s best to accept he won’t be yours anymore and focus your attention on finding someone new. . . who is available.

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