“My mate is mad I refused to clean up after their wedding – I did a runner”

A bridesmaid was shocked when she was expected to help set up and clean up at her friend’s wedding – so much so that she left before she ended up cleaning up

bride and bridesmaid
The bridesmaid was expected to tidy up at the wedding (stock image)

If you’re asked to be a bridesmaid at a wedding, the last thing you expect is to be asked to lift heavy loads.

plan hen? Yes. Help with clothes? Yes. But certainly not putting furniture in place for the big day. Especially when everyone else is enjoying themselves.

A horrified bridesmaid put on weight Reddit to express her outrage at being asked to do this after standing next to her best mate at the altar.

The 21-year-old claims things got strange when they arrived at the remote mountaintop lodge for a rehearsal.

After the practice run, she assumed the groom and ushers would return to one booth for the evening and the bridal party to another for her boyfriend’s last night at liberty – but she was wrong.

She writes: “Instead, the men immediately went to the liquor store, and the mothers of the groom and bride ordered the bridesmaids to put the furniture in place.

“That night the women did everything from lugging 250 chairs out of the shed and setting them up, to lugging furniture down two floors and setting it up elsewhere.

The bride did nothing to help (stock image)

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“Since I was the tallest and strongest person in the group, I mostly had to lug around the larger pieces, and the bride’s mother and mother-in-law mostly stood around and discussed details with her.

“I have repeatedly asked if the groom and groomsmen could be called for assistance, but was told that we “didn’t want to disturb them” and that “they need to relax before the big day”. The bride’s father has a heart condition and the father-in-law was much older and walked with a cane, so he couldn’t help either.

“At the end of a very sweaty two hours I had splinters, blisters and was drenched in sweat, but everything was set up.”

She thought her duties were done and enjoyed the next day’s celebrations with her friends. But then she discovered that the newlyweds had other tasks planned.

She adds: “During the wedding, I learned that the bride and groom were trying to avoid all the venue setup and teardown fees.

“The groom’s mother patted my arm condescendingly and said everything was fine because ‘Jane is our workhorse.

“After a few more calls, I found out that the plan was for the bride and groom to leave and the bridesmaids and groomsmen to stay and do everything from cleaning up the trash to putting the furniture back where we got it.”

So she came up with the idea of ​​getting out of helping – but it didn’t go down well.

She said: “Towards the end of the party almost everyone had left and I realized that two of the groomsmen were so drunk they would be useless and it would again be up to the bridesmaids to clean up and put all the furniture back high the stairs.

The bridesmaid was supposed to clean up but left before being asked (stock image)

“I wanted to say goodbye to the bride. Judging by her slightly panicked expression and “OH…you’re going? You’re going now?” Asking questions, I found that she definitely expected me to put the furniture back, but didn’t want to say anything while she was surrounded by people.

“So I left and my phone exploded as I was driving down the mountain. The other bridesmaids texted me and Vanessa’s mom left me an angry voicemail about not being able to fulfill my bridesmaid duties.

“The next day I woke up to a massive heel from Vanessa saying it was my fault they had to pay the cleaning fee because they weren’t able to reset everything in time. So am I wrong with that?”

People were horrified by the behavior of the bride and her mother and jumped to the defense of the bridesmaid.

“Since when does it become part of the bridesmaids and groomsmen’s duties to clean the entire venue?” scolded one.

Another said: “If the wedding party is going to be doing this type of work you should have been ASKED ahead of time. You can’t ask your wedding party to do such hard work because you want to be cheap. You can ask, but you can’t just expect and demand.”

More people pointed out how strange it is that bridesmaids are expected to perform manual tasks without being warned beforehand.

Someone wrote: “The duties of a bridesmaid do not extend to manual labour. That’s absurd. The men can relax, but the women can’t?! What is this sexist crap? You’re not the “workhorse” or hired help at the wedding, you were a bridesmaid.

“Your “duties” extend as little as helping to organize a bridal shower and/or bachelorette party, helping the bride get dressed and on time for the wedding, wearing a dress you might not like, and smiling for endless pictures. You are in no way obligated to do manual labor for free.”

Others said it was wrong that the bridesmaid who wrote the post was being held responsible for the cleaning fee. They said: “If they want to keep trying to blame you instead of apologizing, just don’t intervene at all. Ignore them until they apologize, if it happens at all. Don’t back down that they were the ones who were rude, abusive and entitled and their poor planning is not your responsibility.”

“You did far more than your fair share to prepare for the wedding and she can blame all the people who didn’t do anything at all or herself for not getting things organized properly, on her account. And if she wants to complain, you can send her a bill for the setup,” wrote one disgruntled Redditor.

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https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/my-pal-furious-refused-clean-27189719 "My mate is mad I refused to clean up after their wedding - I did a runner"

Fry Electronics Team

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