“My older sister started dating a guy who was rumored to have a bad history” – Coleen Nolan

Agony aunt Coleen Nolan advises a reader worried about her sister, who has started dating a new man after being cheated on by her ex-husband

Dear Coleen

My older sister recently started dating a man who I’m not sure is good for her.

They are both in their forties and have children from their past marriagesbut I’ve seen his ex put him down on social media and post tons of things about “male control” and “abusive relationships.”

Local rumors are that his ex has filed a complaint about him with the police and that she has him sacked for fraud and abuse.

However, I heard from someone else that she was on Tinder while still dating him and that was the reason for the breakup.

Apparently he has the kids too and she sees them on the weekends.

I don’t know what to believe to be honest but I’m worried for my sister as she doesn’t need the drama right now.

Her marriage ended because her husband cheated on her and she was completely devastated and it took a while to get back on her feet.

But she told me that she really likes this guy and that they have a lot in common.

I’ve only met him a few times but on the surface he seems nice.

Should I tell her or him something?

I don’t know what’s best to do. Please advise.

Coleen says

There are always two sides to every story and I think it’s a mistake to rely on gossip or social media to find out the truth.

Besides that, I don’t understand why you can’t talk to your sister and tell her what you heard.

Maybe you could ask her if she heard the same thing or if her boyfriend explained what happened in his last relationship.

I think as long as you’re going about it out of concern and love, I don’t see why she should be mad at you.

You’re just looking out for them.

His ex could be angry and out for revenge and her buddies support her, or there could be truth behind it.

Interestingly, he is the main carer of the children.

I think the most important thing is that your sister knows that she can ask you for support when she needs it and that you are not judging her.

Why not try to get to know her boyfriend too so you can make a better judgment?