“My partner demands that I deliver without pain relief – I feel terrible for wanting it”

A mom-to-be feels ‘awful’ after her partner tells her he wants her to give birth without pain relief – as she says it’s her body, her choice

A woman in the hospital giving birth
Wife’s husband doesn’t want pain relief (stock photo)

As humans, we all have the ability to make choices about what we do with our bodies—whether it’s cosmetic procedures, tattoos, piercings, or just our hairstyle.

But one woman on Mumsnet is feeling “stressed” after her partner told her he doesn’t want her to use painkillers when she delivers her baby, when it should be a decision she should make for herself .

The mother-to-be explained she recently sat down with her midwife to put together her birth plan and when she and her partner were briefed about pain relief, they were told the procedures could potentially make the baby a little sleepy, or drowsy as well.

The news “freaked out” the woman’s partner and he immediately told her to refuse any pain relief – and the woman now feels “terrible” for wanting to take the relief, when it should be entirely up to her as it is her body is .

She now feels ‘terrible’ for wanting to accept the pain relief (stock photo)


(Getty Images)

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in the her postShe said: “I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and yesterday I did my birth plan with the midwife. My partner was also present at the appointment.

“Everything was going well until the midwife explained the different options for pain relief. The midwife informed us that some of them (epidural and pethidine) cross the placenta and therefore may affect the baby making her a bit drowsy/drowsy. I think this freaked my partner out a bit and now he doesn’t want me to have any of those options.

“This makes me stressed now that I know my pain threshold is low and I feel like if I want pain relief I should have it. Also, women have been giving birth with pain relief for decades, so is it really that big of a deal? I feel terrible for wanting to accept pain relief during labor.

Commenters on the Mumsnet post were quick to reassure the woman that it was her body and therefore her choice, with many of them telling her that her partner has no say in anything that will ultimately make her feel more comfortable if the Time has come to give birth to her baby.

One person said: “Your body, your choice. The end.”

While another added: “Have any pain relief you see fit. When he pushes a human out of his genitals, he has the choice. He has no say in that.”

And a third wrote: “Millions of women have pain relief and their babies are thriving like little bundles of joy. The drowsiness does not last and has no long-term negative effects.”

Others reassured her that the pain relief she was offered was safe for both herself and the baby, saying the most important thing was to make sure she was as comfortable as possible during labour.

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