My sex addict husband says he’s better

DEAR TEACHER: My sex addict husband claims he’s recovered, but he’s still trying to have sex with strangers.

I love him so much and don’t understand why sex with me is not enough.

Recently, I noticed he has started looking for escorts again - but I don't think he has found anyone yet.


Recently, I noticed he has started looking for escorts again – but I don’t think he has found anyone yet.

For more advice from Dear Deidre

No matter is too small, too big or too embarrassing. Read our individual answers here.

  • Dear Deidre on Mental Health
  • Dear Deidre on Identity
  • Dear Deidre on Debt and Money
  • Send Deidre on Work
  • Dear Deidre on Health and Happiness
  • Dear Deidre on Addiction

We have been married for 17 years. I’m 46, he’s 44 and we have a 14 year old son.

He also has a high sex drive and sleeps with both women and men at a young age.
When we met, he wanted to do it five times a day, every day.

Once the honeymoon was over, I couldn’t keep up. And I realized it was just sex – not me – that he wanted, and that hurt.

He also has a roving eye and, at the beginning of our relationship, he cheated on me at least twice. I forgave him and put it down to teething troubles.

In every way, he is a wonderful husband and father.

Then, about five years ago, he started seeing escorts whenever he got the chance – even going out during his lunch hour.

I was suspicious for months but finally caught him when I found condoms in his bag.

He promised it would never happen again. But he couldn’t explain why he did it.

I was so distraught that I said unless he helped me, I would leave him.

He was diagnosed as a sex addict, entered rehab and then spent years in treatment. I think he is cured.

But I never lost the habit of checking on him and I recently noticed he’s started looking for an escort again – although I don’t think he’s met one.

He also sent suggestive texts to a male friend, although they were ridiculed as a joke.

Contact Deidre

All issues receive a personal response, usually within 24 hours on weekdays.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel it’s only a matter of time before he cheats again.

Should I accept this as part of him?

DEIDRE SAYS: If your husband is an alcoholic or drug addict, I don’t think you dream of just accepting that as part of his personality.

You will insist that he was helped – again.

Sex addiction is like any other addiction and if he loses control again he needs further treatment.

Just as alcoholics use alcohol to get rid of bad feelings and create euphoria for themselves, sex addicts use sex, normally outside of their relationship, to short-lived thrills numb their underlying pain.

Talk to him again and insist he return to therapy.

Some together relationship advice would also be helpful. Find support at or (020 7380 1960) online help is available.

My support package, Addicted To Sex, will also be helpful.

NEXT IN Greetings TODAY My best mate keeps bragging about sleeping with his aunt

READ DEIDRE’s STORY Sam is willing to bring up Max’s wacky ideas – but Anna becomes suspicious

CONTACT How the site works and how to contact us My sex addict husband says he’s better

Fry Electronics Team

Fry is an automatic aggregator of the all world’s media. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, all materials to their authors. If you are the owner of the content and do not want us to publish your materials, please contact us by email – The content will be deleted within 24 hours.

Related Articles

Back to top button