Agony aunt Coleen Nolan advises a reader dealing with her partner’s nightmarish ex-wife. She claims that her partner’s ex sometimes inappropriately flirts with him
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My partner’s ex-wife is an absolute nightmare and unfortunately she’s still in the picture because they have children together.
She is often unreasonable when he sees the children, who are now teenagers, and if she ever stops by to pick them up, she inappropriately flirts with him, although I think this is more to my irritation than his benefit. I’m sure he didn’t even notice!
We got together after they broke up, but I seem to have been unfairly cast as the “other woman” and I’m convinced his ex is making me the villain when it comes to the kids, who I barely have time for let day.
It’s like pulling teeth trying to keep a conversation going.
My current problem is that my partner’s sister is getting married and she invited his ex and not me.
It’s a small family and to be fair I’ve never met his sister and she might think his kids would be uncomfortable if I was there.
I don’t really want him to go without me, but I can’t mind him going to his sister’s wedding, can I?
What advice would you give this reader? Share your opinion in the comment section
Um, no you can’t. I think you need to find some perspective here.
Your partner’s marriage ended for a reason and he chose to be with you, so I think the chances of him making it at the wedding with his difficult ex are pretty slim.
If you’re making a fuss about the wedding, you’re playing into the hands of his ex, who sounds like she likes to stir the pot. So my advice is don’t be unreasonable and tell him to enjoy the wedding.
He comes to your house, so don’t create a problem in your relationship and don’t give his ex the ammunition to put you down.
However, I think you probably need a larger and more ongoing conversation with your partner about your relationship with their children and what can be done to make things better.
His ex may be feeding them negative information, but he can balance it and you have the opportunity to change how they see you.
And if his ex is lying about you and how you got together with her father, then it’s up to your partner to call her and remind her that lying isn’t a good example for her kids.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/my-sister-law-invited-partners-26814243 "My sister-in-law invited my partner's ex-wife to her wedding, but not me" - Coleen Nolan