“My teenage son won’t listen to me when I try to talk to him about sex” – Coleen Nolan

The Mirror’s agony aunt, Coleen Nolan, advises a reader who found a packet of condoms in her son’s gym bag and is now uneasy about not wanting to talk to her about sex

Mother and teenage son
A mother wants to talk to her son about sex but he won’t listen (stock photo)

Dear Coleen

I found a pack of condoms in my son’s gym bag the other day, so I know he’s having sex.

He’s 17 and is dating some friends’ daughters, although he doesn’t want to say much about the relationship.

If I’ve ever tried to talk about sex in the past, he’d literally curl up in a ball and cover his ears!

He hates it when I discuss stuff like that and just says he’s not an idiot and knows what he’s doing.

However, I feel like I need to talk to him, especially since this girl is only 16 and her parents are very protective of her.

She’s an only child and they have big plans for her.

They know our kids have seen each other, but maybe they assume they’re more friends than lovers since they’ve known each other since they were five and grew up together.

It is an awkward situation overall and I would hate if my son were irresponsible or did anything to upset this girl as we would never hear the end of it. Am I not panicking about anything and how do I bring this up with my son?

What advice would you give? Share your opinion in the comment section






Coleen Nolan is the mirror’s aunt of death

Coleen says

OK, I think you’re panicking a bit and also not really giving him credit for having the condoms and obviously practicing safe sex with his girlfriend.

No kid likes talking to their parents about sex or sitting down and giving a lecture about what they can do.

My approach has always been to let my children know that there is nothing off-limits when it comes to confiding in me and asking for advice.

And if I wanted to say something important about sex, I didn’t make it one big, scary conversation. I let it fall into the conversation in a quiet moment.

The thing is to normalize it and not make it a topic that is taboo or uncomfortable.

Perhaps the first way is to say that you found the condoms while doing his laundry and are glad he practices safe sex, and then tell him that you are always willing to listen if he has any questions, Has worries or concerns about sex and relationships.

Also, I think you should ask yourself why you’re so worried about her parents.

Perhaps this has more to do with your friendship with them and the underlying tensions.

The way I see it, your son is in charge, and by the time you’re 17, you have to reckon that sex is on the agenda for a lot of youngsters.

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https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/my-teenage-son-wont-listen-26379810 "My teenage son won't listen to me when I try to talk to him about sex" - Coleen Nolan

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